The Frozen land
by Last.one.02
Summary: Gibbs is sent to Moscow for a mission. It's just a few months after Stephanie. His new partner comes out to be Jenny, who left him few years ago in Paris. And she has an issue. Callan, Decker... are also there. Read and you'll know more.
1. Chapter 1

Jethro Gibbs was sent back to London and then to somewhere in Europe. He had gotten divorced from Stephanie in a few months ago. Feels like he has been living in Europe with different women for awhile now. First it was mainly Paris with Jenny, then Moscow with Stephanie... who's next and where now ? That's why he was sent to London office now – to get his new assignment and new partner and possible new beginning. Yeah, it's 2 years since Jenny left him. That's what he remembered, when he walked through the London airport. He remembered walking here with Jenny, but then he had her hand in his and he made sure no-one even looked at Jenny – she was his at the time. But that was a long time ago, somehow it feels like a lifetime has passed since he last saw her. Since she let him fly back to States with her coat and a Dear John letter. That's where their last memory is.

***NCIS***

NCIS London station was like years ago – small, cozy and full of agents. He knew some of them, but most of the agents were strangers to him. Gibbs confidently walked past the desks and doors until he saw a familiar man there.

"Callan ?" he asked.

"Hey Gibbs. You arrived finally. How was your trip ?" Callan asked his friend as he hugged the older marine.

"Tiring. What are you doing here ?" Gibbs asked.

"You think I let you go back alone ?" Callan asked and smiled.

"Back where ?" Gibbs asked.

"Russia my friend. We'll be living there for awhile. There is gonna be another agent with us. Decker is leading the operation from Moscow. I don't know how many people are already undercover there," Callan said.

"Aah... The same old mission ?" Gibbs asked.

"That I don't know yet," Callan said.

Two of them walked to see the the man, who gave them the mission. He was waiting in his office. It was special agent Patrick King. Callan and Gibbs walked into the office and closed the door afterwards.

"You'll fly out today. Other agents are in place, except for Shepard, because she has a little issue and some problems leaving Israel. Decker will coordinate the mission and give you information about the duties. There are 4 other agents already working, but you don't need to know them and there won't be any interaction between you and the other agents. Callan will be doing some background search as he enters as a new arms dealer on the streets. Gibbs you will be playing lovers with Shepard and then find your way into the cell. You two have worked successfully together before, so I thought it would be easier for you to fall back into love. You'll get the specific instructions from Decker and can familiarize yourself there. You're keys and other things are with Decker too, he'll be waiting for you in the airport in Moscow. Now I suggest you to leave, your plane goes in 2 hours. You'll get the tickets from Diana," Patrick spoke.

The other men listened quietly and then left the office. It was not what they were expecting and Gibbs was not expecting to meet Jenny again. She left him a few years ago and now suddenly they were working together again ? And she with her issue ? Does he want to see her again ? Does she want to see him ? Would it be awkward ? Of course it would be awkward, and that's all Gibbs knew, when a blonde woman handed him his ticket to Moscow. One-way-ticket to hell, literally. One-way-ticket back to Jenny.

***NCIS***

It was night, when the plane from London landed in Moscow with Gibbs and Callan on it. It was winter there. Both men saw their friend Decker waiting after the passport control with a grin on his face. Gibbs and Callan walked to him.

"Glad to see you made it," Decker said.

"We have a job to do," Gibbs said. He was grumpy.

"What's his problem ?" Decker asked Callan.

"Don't know. Probably his ex-partner Shepard, who is his partner again," Callan said and earned a headslap from Gibbs.

"Yeah. Come on now. I have your cars parked in parking lot nearby. The information you need is under the passenger seat," Decker said and held out a pair of car keys. Gibbs and Callan each took one.

"I'll call you, when I need you. For now just live in and practice your Russian. And Gibbs, I'll call, when you need to pick up Shepard. She has an issue and so she needs a little help, but you'll see yourself," Decker said.

"What issue ? Is this gonna get on the way of working ?" Gibbs asked, still grumpy.

"You'll see for yourself. Until that it's classified," Decker said and smiled.

Callan pointed to the door and three men walked out of the airport into cold Moscow night. The city was decorated with snow and ice – everything was white. The snow was falling slowly from the sky, and that made the city even more beautiful. They walked to the parking lot together and then sat into different cars.

Decker drove away instant, Callan was the next and then finally Gibbs left too. The Marine drove to his destination slowly – he was back in Moscow only months after returning home with Stephanie. Now here he is alone, at the moment, waiting for a woman, thanks to who he married Stephanie, in the apartment they are sharing. And she with her issue ? What is it ? Is she married or something ? Injured possibly ? Maybe she is paralyzed ? Whatever it is he'll figure it out, when she arrives.


	2. Chapter 2

"Gibbs go to the airport. Shepard will land in an hour," Decker said and hang up the phone.

Gibbs shut his phone and threw it on the couch. Now finally he'll get some answers about Jenny. He had been in Moscow for 3 days. That's how long he has had to familiarize himself with the idea of working with Jenny again. The apartment made things easier though – it had 2 bedrooms. One had a king-size bed and the other a single. He picked the single bed for himself. There was also a living room, kitchen and bathroom. The living room was rather big, but the kitchen was too small on the other hand. On the whole he liked the apartment – living here would be nice. The only thing he was not sure about was Jenny and her attitude, her "issue" and the way she reacts. Would there be that awkward silence ? Will it be okay ? Will he end up in the same bed with her, again ? Does she still love him ? But the biggest question was about Gibbs himself. Does he still love her ? And does he want to end up with her again ? These were the real questions.

Confused, but he got into the car and then to the airport. He drove like normal people, not like he usually does. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see her again, because inside he knew that he is not over Jenny. His broken marriage proved that.

Finally he arrived at the airport. He parked his car, where Decker had parked it before. Slowly he dragged himself out of the car and locked the doors. He looked at the giant building and really wanted to run from Jenny. He saw a plane landing and it might be the same one, which brings Jenny here. It might be the same flight from Israel, or it could be a random plane bringing tourists to this old city and the citizens back home from far places like Rome and Mexico and London and Seattle and Sydney and... all the other places on the Earth. Maybe it was not Jenny's plane, maybe she is already here or maybe she is still flying or maybe... maybe she missed her plane and won't be coming at all. Maybe he has more time to prepare himself for that meeting. But he knew that this moment will come and eventually they just have to face each other. It doesn't matter that he doesn't want to do it. It's just one of those things that you just have to do. And then the moment passes and it is over.

Still hesitating, Gibbs walked to the airport and waited, where Decker was waiting for him and Callan. He looked at the screens and saw, that a plane from Tel Aviv had arrived and people are getting off now. He took a deep breath and waited.

The people came through passport check. Gibbs looked, but he didn't saw Jenny with them. Some of them were talking in Hebrew, so he knew that they came from Israel most likely. There were blondes and brunets and some redheads even, but there was no Jenny. He still knows how she looks like hopefully – she can't have changed that much in the time. Then finally he saw her. Actually he heard her first. She thanked the man, who checked her passport and let her through.

She still had long curly red hair and slender figure she had few years ago. She was carrying something and so she was not facing him, she was dealing with the thing on her lap. Her suitcase was on her back, probably forgotten at this moment since her full attention was on the thing she was holding. She smiled and he felt his heart jump.

Jenny was wearing a pair of black boots with heels, her regular blue jeans and gray sweatshirt with long red coat on her hand. The coat fit nicely with her hair. She probably was wearing make-up too, but Gibbs couldn't tell that from distant. He was having troubles breathing, because her clothes brought out her curves and that brought back memories. He knew she was rather formal with her clothing, but sometimes she preferred something comfortable like jeans and sweatshirt. And she looked damn sexy in those, he thought.

She turned her face and caught a glimpse of him and smiled. She waved with her left hand, because she was holding something wrapped in a white something with her right. He was curious about the thing she was holding so carefully. Then she took her suitcase into her left hand and started walking towards Jethro.

He finally got his body back and waved back at her. He walked to her. And then they were standing close to each other. Gibbs took the suitcase from her hand and then he took a look at the thing on her lap. Comes out it was not a thing, it was alive. It was a tiny human, about a year old girl. The girl looked at Gibbs with her big blue eyes and hid her face in Jenny.

Jenny was coming with a kid, that was this issue. She was a mother. But if there is a baby and mother, then there must be a father too. Comes out Jenny got over him rather fast. Explains how she could leave and never look back. He had another man at the sight already. Maybe she was even sleeping with the guy, when they were together. Maybe she was with the guy before Paris and then at the end came, what had to come – catastrophe. Guess she was over him and his questions got answered. The only one now is – who is the guy and why didn't the kid stay with the father ? It's gonna be a dangerous mission after all... Maybe the father is working here too. Is it Callan ? Or maybe Decker ? Decker... William Decker... Maybe indeed. That would explain, why they were close in Paris, specially, when the mission was about to end...

"Jethro ?" She asked softly.

"Yeah ?" he asked after being brought back to reality.

"You okay ?" She asked.

"Yes. I'm fine," He said and looked at her. Damn, she looked pretty.

"Sure ? You seemed a little... distant," Jenny asked.

"Cute kid you have," he said and started walking.

Jenny knew explaining will be difficult. She knew it was not easy and they might never get along after the truth again, but the first moment was over and she survived that. She was here with Catherine and Jethro had seen her daughter. It was going to be okay.

She bit her lip and followed Jethro while running her hand up and down on Catherine's back. She felt the baby drifting into the wonderful world of dreams.

They made it to the front door and then she felt cold wind. She stopped.

"Jethro," she said.

The man with her suitcase turned around and saw Jenny standing.

"Can you hold Cath for a moment, so I can put on my coat. It's cold outside," Jenny said.

She didn't wait for Jethro to reply, instead she carefully placed Cath on his arms. Then she took her coat and put it on. She left the buttons unbuttoned, so she could put Cath under the coat and keep her warm. She turned to Jethro and saw the infant sleeping peacefully with him. It felt so natural to look at the two – father and daughter.

Gibbs didn't want to hold the baby, but she was placed on his arms. The suitcase fell on the floor – he had something more precious with him now. The baby slept peacefully just like Gibbs wasn't a stranger to him. It felt too good to hold Jenny's and some other man's baby.

"Jethro, you can give her back to me now," Jenny said and reached for her daughter. Gibbs followed her movements with his eyes and he kept on looking at the baby. There was something about that little girl, there was like a bond between Gibbs and Cath. He looked as Jenny took her so gently and then held her close against her body. Oh man, what would Gibbs give to be the one pressed against her so close.

Gibbs led the way to the car. They didn't change a word. Gibbs put the suitcase in the truck and took the driver seat. He wasn't surprised when Jenny was sitting on the passenger seat, seatbelt buckled and Cath safely against her chest.

Gibbs let out a small smile and then turned the car on. He drove safely. He followed the rules and parked in front of the apartment. Gibbs again took the suitcase as they walked to the building. They went to the 3rd floor by the stairs. He showed the way.

Finally they reached the right floor and door. Jethro opened the door and Jenny followed him.

"Welcome home," Gibbs said and took the suitcase to the master bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

The day has been awkward. Jenny was sitting on couch rocking Catherine to sleep and Gibbs was on the armchair watching TV. They hadn't changed a word since they arrived at the apartment last night. Jenny spent a lot time in the bedroom – Gibbs managed to see that she had a baby crib placed next to the bed. He figured it was here already, when he arrived a few days earlier.

There was many things he wanted to ask her, but somehow he just like lost his voice, when she was around. Now he just kept on looking at mother and daughter. The baby girl was sleeping peacefully in Jenny's arms and he thought that it was an amazing view.

Finally she took Catherine to the crib and returned to the living room. She caught Gibbs' look and knew that the talk had to come. They had to talk about their baby and the way their life was going to go, but he seemed not to care.

"You can ask you know," Jenny said to Gibbs to break the code of silence.

"Ask what ?" Gibbs asked.

"What you have wanted to ask since my arrival," Jenny said simply.

"Didn't know I wanted to ask something," Gibbs said innocently.

"I'm just saying. You can ask about Cath and we can get this over with, so you can stop wondering," Jenny said.

"Well, is there something you wanna tell me ?" He asked.

"I'm willing to answer your questions," she said and offered him a small smile.

"It didn't took you too long to get over me," Gibbs said. The start was made and the pain was out there open. Ready to be discovered again and relived once more.

Jenny kept on looking at the wall next to TV. It was not a question, it was a statement. If he only knew. She didn't want to reply, because that brought back the pain too, but there was also the fact that he was wrong. As impolite as it was, but this time Jenny stayed silent while Gibbs let his anger out.

"How old is she ?" He asked after a moment.

"1 year and 9 months. She'll be 2 in February, 24th," Jenny said.

"Wow! It took you less time than I thought. Wonder how you failed to mention to me that you wanted a family," Gibbs said. She knew him well enough to understand that this question was driven by jealousy and anger.

"Well, she actually wasn't planned. I didn't know I wanted a kid until I had one," Jenny answered honestly.

Jethro stood up and took the bourbon from the cupboard. He also took 2 glasses and poured that liquid into the glasses. He gave one to Jenny and drank the other in one time. Then he poured another glass for himself.

"I don't drink," Jenny said and looked at the bourbon in front of her.

"And how did that happen ? In Paris you loved to drink bourbon, a lot. And then have quality time with me afterward," Gibbs said and drowned another glass of bourbon.

"People change. At first I was pregnant, then I was feeding her and now I even don't think about it," Jenny said smiling at the memories of pregnancy and taking care of very little Cath.

"Don't tell me you quit coffee ?" Gibbs asked.

"For a short while I did, but I do drink it again," Jenny said.

She looked into his face and it was unreadable even to her. He didn't seem happy nor too sad. He could be rather angry, but he was hiding it. His face was blank.

"Tell me how have you been ?" Jenny asked her former lover.

"I've been great. I don't know if you heard, but I got married again. And divorced too. I lived here with her. Her name is Stephanie. I have been free man for a few months. Other than that nothing has happened. You obviously have a much more interesting life," He said and looked at her hoping to find out about her lover. Maybe she is married ? You don't have to wear a ring on undercover mission to be married.

"Well, I have been busy. I worked in Greece and Spain for a few months and then I was sent to Israel. I ran some anti-terrorism ops with Mossad. We were in Eastern Europe mostly, but then Morrow called and let me know that I am needed here. Beside he felt it was better for me if I had a place to live and the mission wouldn't be as dangerous as it was with Mossad. I have been traveling a lot, so I am really tired to be honest and Cath is not helping either. Usually she doesn't sleep through night, but I've got used to sleepless nights by now," Jenny said. She looked at him, but he seemed unsatisfied with the answer. She could only imagine what he wanted to know.

"Don't you have someone to help you with Catherine ?" Gibbs asked. He avoided using the nickname of Jenny's kid. Truthfully he was scared of the answer, but he felt like he needed to know.

"No. It's only me. The father is a good man, but he doesn't know. I had left him before I found out about the pregnancy. I wanted to tell him, but he was getting married and I didn't want to screw up his chance of happiness," Jenny said and looked sad. Yes, leaving that man was one of the biggest mistakes in her life. Some may see it that way, but she never thought that keeping the baby was a mistake. It was a complication, yes, but not a mistake. She loved her daughter.

"You still love him ?" he asked without looking at her.

Jenny had prepared herself for the question. She had thought about it and at some point tried to figure out the answer. In her heart she knew, that she can deny it, but at the end – she has to admit the truth. Yes, she is still in love with the father of her child.

"Yeah, I think I do," She said and looked at him.

He caught her eyes and looked into them. He knew, he has lost her, but it doesn't mean that she can't be happy with someone else. He wanted her to be happy, doesn't matter how much it hurts inside to think of her with another man.

"Then you should tell him. If he is not a jerk, then he'll forgive you and you'll get your chance of happiness. You deserve to be happy. I want you to be happy. Obviously there is a man out there that can make you happier than I ever could," he said. After saying the words he felt his heart break once more. He felt like it's the moment, when he finally let her go.

Little did Gibbs know at the moment, that Jenny's heart still beat for him. He also didn't know that he has a daughter, who is alive and currently living with him. Those little things he didn't know, would have been everything for him.


	4. Chapter 4

Decker called. He was coming over to explain some things, apparently there were still things that needed clearing. Phone lines are not secure and none of them knew the town good enough to set up a meeting in safe place. Beside English speaking people draw attention in Moscow. To say Russia and USA don't get along that well.

It was a morning. Gibbs didn't sleep well, because Catherine was crying almost half of the night and the other half he was expecting her to cry. Jenny didn't lie, when she said that Catherine usually doesn't sleep through the night. In kitchen Jenny was in much better shape than Gibbs, obviously she has more recent experience with kids.

He made coffee for him and Jenny. She was taking the shower. He did pancakes, hadn't done that for a long time, but now it was time to make them again. Beside Jenny loved those in Paris. He finished just in time and then Jenny walked from bathroom to her bedroom fast. That was strange, but maybe she has problems with him seeing her almost naked now. She is still in love with some other man after all.

She appeared a few minutes later fully dressed. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Catherine was in her arms. She walked to Gibbs and took a mug for coffee. Before she could do anything, he poured her coffee.

"Thank you," Jenny thanked him.

She placed the coffee on the desk and Catherine in her chair. She sat behind the table. Gibbs took the jam, plates and pancakes and joined them. Then he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"You loved pancakes in Paris," Gibbs said and gave her a plate.

"I... um... I usually don't have breakfast anymore," Jenny said.

Gibbs sent her a glare.

"Breakfast is important. You never skipped it in Paris. What changed ?" Gibbs asked.

"I had a baby. At first there was no time for breakfast and then I just got used to that," She said and offered him a smile.

"Then it's time to start having breakfast again. You have time now," he said and placed some pancakes on her plate.

"No Jethro, you know how much calories these have ? I really had troubles losing weight after giving birth," Jenny protested.

"Nah, you don't have to lose weight, a few extra pounds won't hurt," He said simply. Obviously he had forgotten what losing weight after birth means to women.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say it," Jenny said.

She stood up and walked to the fridge. She found Catherine's food and took it out. Quickly she prepared it and came back to the table. Jenny payed no attention to the pancakes in front of her, her full attention was on Catherine and feeding her.

Gibbs looked at her and the interaction between a mother and a daughter. He looked at them and realized that Jenny had changed. She had another job beside NCIS and it's being mom. He had never pictured her with a kid, but now that she was here with a child, it seemed neutral. She looked like she had done that for a lifetime, not less than 2 years.

Catherine decided that Gibbs was interesting. She looked at him with her big blue eyes, identical to the ones looking back at her. Jenny fed her, but Cath payed no attention to her mother. The new person was much more interesting. Cath forgot to eat, she didn't like, when food was shoved to her mouth. Unfortunate to Jenny, Catherine spat everything out and made her mother's clean t-shirt and face dirty.

"Thank you Cath," Jenny said simply and went to the bathroom. She splashed some water to her face and cleaned her face and neck. Then she tried to get her the red stain out of her white t-shirt. It wasn't an easy mission and Jenny gave up. It was after realizing that the shirt was wet down to her breasts. She cursed herself, because her lacy bra was visible through the shirt. And she had to walk like that in front of Gibbs. And she still had baby to feed.

Jenny slowly opened the door and walked to the kitchen, where Gibbs and Catherine were. She was surprised to see that Gibbs had taken over feeding her and Cath seemed to like it. She ate and didn't spit food on Gibbs. That should have made her happy, but instead she found it frustrating that Gibbs can feed Cath better than she could. Gibbs was after all a stranger to her.

"I can see that Cath is already picking favorite," Jenny commented from the doorway.

"Yeah, I have a feeling she likes me better at this moment," Gibbs said and kept on feeding Cath.

"You're just new. You are interesting at this moment, but she'll get tired of you," Jenny assured him.

"Maybe she just prefers someone with bigger experience," Gibbs said. He hadn't even looked at Jenny.

"Doubt that. She will get over you," she teased him.

"Oh no, she is in love with me. I have that affect on people," he teased her.

"So you wanna say that all women love you ?" she asked, surprised by the ego he had.

"Yes. All woman, specially redheads," he said simply.

"Cath doesn't have my hair, Jethro," Jenny said and smirked.

"Well, she has a mother with red hair, that should be enough," Gibbs said and looked at Jenny for the first time. His eyes grew huge as she looked at the sight of Jenny leaning against the doorframe with wet t-shirt. He caught a good sight of her underwear, gosh, he still liked those lacy bras and he could only imagine if she has a matching set of underwear too.

Jenny realized what had caught Jethro's sight and she tried to cover herself up. She received a smirk from Gibbs by that action. She rolled her eyes.

The doorbell rang before neither of them could say anything.

Catherine laughed and her hands found their way to the food bowl. Jenny noticed it, but Gibbs didn't. She let our a small laugh.

"Go get the door, it's Decker. And don't leave Cath alone. I'm gonna change," Jenny announced and left to get herself a clean and dry shirt.

Gibbs smiled at himself and took the toddler from the chair. He didn't realize that both of her hands were red like the food. He lifted her up and she was glad to make his shirt dirty. Her hands traveled to his hair. Then Gibbs realized that Cath had made him dirty.

He opened to door and it was indeed Decker. Catherine instantly held her hands out and waited for Decker to pick her up.

"Ded, Ded," Catherine said cheerfully. She held her arms open wide and Gibbs gave her to Decker.

Ded ? Was this some kind of short version of dad ? Or daddy ? But Jenny said that the father doesn't know... Maybe she lied to him ? She is good at lying after all. Gibbs couldn't help but wonder about the odd situation and the odd name Catherine called Decker. He'll ask that from Jenny later.

"Where are you hiding Jenny ?" Decker asked.

Before Gibbs could say anything Jenny appeared. She had changed her wet shirt and instead was wearing green t-shirt.

"Hey Will," Jenny said.

"Jenny, it's nice to see you," Decker said.

"Likewise," Jenny agreed.

She walked closer to Decker and gave him a hug. Catherine was between them. Jenny pecked Decker's cheek and pulled away.

"You wanted to talk about the mission ?" Gibbs asked Decker.

"Yep. There are some things you need to know," Decker said.

Jenny looked at Gibbs and noticed his shirt and hair being together with food. She smiled.

"Oh, good work Cath," Jenny said to her daugher.

"Momma," Catherine said and reached for her mother.

Jenny took her from Decker. She stood in front of Gibbs. Catherine reached out to Gibbs and touched his jaw with her little hands. She pulled them back rather fast and started crying. All three looked at the crying baby. Jenny touched Gibbs' jaw and felt it being not shaved. She shook her head.

"Jethro, I have a news for you. You need to shave, Cath doesn't like scratchy people," Jenny said and moved the living room.

Decker chuckled, Gibbs rolled his eyes, but both men walked to the living room. And both of them looked at Jenny's bottom as she moved. Jenny was aware of that, they both had stared at her ass during their mission in Paris and so she was not surprised, but she decided not to say anything at this point. She sat down on a couch and Decker took a seat next to her. Gibbs sat in an armchair as usual.

Decker started talking about the mission. The targets were being careful, CIA had ran an unsuccessful mission before them, so they were hard to get, but NCIS had faith in them. Beside they were using the same cover they used in Paris not so long time ago, and apparently it wasn't blown yet. The names were still in play, though everybody just assumed that they were keeping low profile. Their mission was to get the intel and then kill their Russian friends. Sounds simple, but in reality it's much more complicated. They could use Catherine as the reason of being out of sight, but Jenny was against using Catherine at all. She didn't want her daughter to be known, she could be hurt and no mother wants to see her daughter being hurt.

Catherine felt good with Decker. She loved the extra attention she was getting. Gibbs on the other hand was not so happy. He didn't like the idea of Decker and Jenny together and the fact that Catherine felt so good around Decker. Yes, Decker was his friend, but seeing him with Jenny made him enemy.

Decker left rather fast. Catherine was not happy with it, but Jenny managed to put her to bed, before Decker walked out of the door. That left Jenny and Jethro alone for a moment.

After sending Decker away both of them sat on the couch and Jenny turned on the TV. They found a movie and started watching it. Gibbs wanted to ask many things from Jenny, but decided not to. This could wait.

It didn't take long before Jenny was sound asleep. She leaned against him and her head fell to his shoulder. He didn't push her away, he liked having her close again. He slipped his arm around her and ran smoothing circles on her back. He felt himself getting sleepy too and he decided not to fight it. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. His head fell on top of hers. In her sleep, she snuggled closer to him. They both needed sleep and each other.


	5. Chapter 5

***AN* I'm sorry about the delay. I wanted to update it sooner, but I have been way too busy. I started uni this year, so I am busy with schoolwork and also with everything else that comes with that. I've been trying to update once per week and not on Sunday, but lately it seems like it. I hope the chapter was worth the wait. And I also discovered that I have no idea, where the story is heading, so it takes extra time to figure it out. Still I hope you like the chapter. I had to rewrite it multiple times to get it right, and I do hope that I got it right :) . **

**And also it means a lot if you take a few minutes and leave me a review, besides it also lets me know if people are reading this or not. And if you like it or not.  
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The night fell over Moscow. The snowflakes started falling onto the icy ground. Already white Moscow was added more whiteness and the city fell asleep like that. People looked outside, and then switched off their lights, TV, radios, computers and they fell asleep. But not everybody was asleep – some couples walked down the snowy street, enjoying each other warmth and tender kisses, youngsters were outside, rushing home and trying to avoid the snow, some old ladies were walking with their dogs and some people were just outside trying to make their way to their destination; but there were also people in home watching movies, reading books, loving, fighting, thinking or it was a tiny human, that kept them awake.

Jethro was awaken by loud cry coming from the other room. He carefully entangled himself from Jenny and left the living room. He thought that Jenny was still awake, but she wasn't. Gibbs entered quietly Jenny's bedroom. He hadn't been here. It was more alive than it was before – pictures of Cath and Jenny covered the nightstand, Jenny's clothes were all over the room. Baby clothes and things were on a chair, on the floor, on and in the suitcase and some were even on the bed. Gibbs turned his attention back to the crying Catherine in the crib. He lifted her up and tried to calm her down. Unsuccessfully.

"Momma," Catherine cried.

"Momma is asleep," Gibbs said and shushed Catherine.

"No she's not," Jenny said from the doorway.

She walked over to Gibbs and took the crying baby. Catherine calmed a little instantly. Jenny rocked her and sang to her too quietly for Gibbs to hear the words. It didn't took long before Catherine was deep asleep again. Jenny didn't put her back to the crib, instead she put her in the center of her bed.

"Seems like she has her favorite person," Gibbs said.

"Yes. That she has. She just doesn't like other people, when she wakes up during the night. Once Ziva had been trying to get her back to bed for 2 hours, when I came back to our apartment in Cairo. I don't know why, but other people can't get her back to bed during nights," Jenny explained.

"And I was starting to think that she just doesn't like me," Gibbs said.

"Don't be silly. She likes you, she just likes me more," Jenny said and smirked.

Gibbs just rolled his eyes, let out a small smile and walked out of the bedroom with Jenny right behind him. Jenny pulled the door close, but she didn't shut it completely.

"You've different," Gibbs said softly.

"What do you mean ?" Jenny asked and looked at him.

"You became mother. You've grown a lot since Paris," Gibbs said. He bit down the pain he felt as he mentioned the city they fell in love.

"That was not planned, but even then it had to be done. I had to grow. I had to change my life, but some things are still the same. I'm still me," Jenny said softly.

"Yeah ?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm not as different as you think I am," She said and smirked.

Jenny sat down on the couch, Gibbs took the seat right next to her. Jenny checked the channels on TV and discovered that nothing interesting was on. So she switched it off.

"You should go to sleep," Jenny said.

"You too," he said.

"Yeah, but the difference is that you couldn't sleep last night and that's not usual for you. I'm pretty used to it already, so I can stay awake," Jenny said simply.

"How do you know that I'm not used to it ?" Gibbs asked. He was amused.

"Because you looked like crap this morning and I didn't," Jenny said simply.

"Maybe you just have a better bed," He suggested, not admitting the truth.

"And whose fault is that ?" Jenny asked.

"I was trying to be a gentleman."

"Your fault."

Jenny smirked and he looked defeated.

"Yeah, maybe we should go to bed," he said, not having anything better to say.

"I'm gonna brush my teeth," She announced and went to the bathroom.

Gibbs watched as she stood up and walked to the bathroom. His looked at her long legs, that were once wrapped around him, then she looked at the small of her back – his hand has been there so many times, but his attention was caught by her ass. She moved it like always, but to him, it was like invitation. He bit his lip as he felt himself being turned on.

"Stop looking at my ass," she said as she closed the bathroom door.

He snapped back into reality. He took some deep breaths, repeated himself, that he is over Jenny, which is obviously a lie, but he kept on lying to himself, then he went to his bedroom. He changed into pair of sweats and then he heard the bathroom door opening. He decided to wait until Jenny was in her room. First of all he was embarrassed of being caught staring at her ass and the second reason was that he wasn't sure if he could control himself around her, when he already was turned on.

He heard the door closing and then he left his room. He walked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He looked at his reflection from the mirror. He had to be honest, he looked good. His chest was flat and in muscles. His gray hair had never looked better. His blue eyes had been looking into emerald for a long time, sharing the love without any words. At that moment Gibbs realized that he might still look attractive to her. She might still want him, and even though it hurts inside, because he had had her before and then she left him by letter, he still loved her. Feelings don't disappear with Dear Jethro letter, as she wrote it. All he knew was that there was still this other guy in her heart and he had to get rid of him and the feeling Jenny still held for him. Then Gibbs had to make Jenny fall for him again – he had done that before, maybe it's possible to make it again. But again that other guy had child with Jenny – that would make him the frontrunner.

Oh, things are always complicated with Jenny, but there were times, when they were happy together. In Paris.

Still in the bathroom, he looked at her things there and some of them seemed familiar. He looked at her toothpaste and that was the same brand and same taste for sure – extra strong mint. He remembered the taste of that.

_***Flashback***_

_It was one of their nights in Paris. It had been slow day and slow night so far. Gibbs was of course thankful of that because he got to spend time with Jenny. Beside Ducky was about to arrive, so they didn't have much chance to be together anyway. _

_He was already in the bed, while she was in the bathroom. She had been there forever, at least it seemed like that to him, but she was a lady after all and they always took their time in the bathroom. _

_Finally the bathroom door opened and Jenny stepped out. She was wearing his NIS shirt, which was huge on her. But he liked that._

_Jenny walked to the bed and greeted him with a kiss. He licked her lips and she opened her mouth for him. He pulled her on top of him and pushed his tongue to her mouth. She tasted like peppermint. Like very pepperminty peppermint. He wasn't much of a peppermint fan, but he liked Jenny and if that meant he had to like peppermint – he'll do it. _

_She pulled away from the kiss and gave him a devilish smile. He rolled over and covered her lips with his again..._

_***Flashback***_

His mind came back to the present time, when he felt the memory making him feel uncomfortable. Quickly he left the bathroom only to see Jenny walking out of her room.

"What are you doing walking around half-naked ?" Jenny asked.

"I wasn't expecting on seeing you walking around," Gibbs said simply.

"Haven't you thought about the possibility of scaring somebody off ?" Jenny asked.

"No. Catherine is asleep and you've seen it all before, so no worries," Gibbs said.

Jenny had to bit her bottom lip. Gibbs on the other hand was loving the reaction he caused.

"Next time make sure you wear the shirt, boy," Jenny said and walked to the kitchen.

"Next time I'll loose my pants," Gibbs said under his breath and entered his room.

Jenny drank a glass of water and went back to her room. This night had proved everything wrong. She can't work with Gibbs, when her heart still beats for him. She can't have so many distractions. Beside she knows that at some point she has to talk to Gibbs about their daughter.

She threw things from the bed to the floor and got down to her bed. She carefully pulled the blanket over her and Cath. She stayed awake for a few moments and then sleep claimed her. She fell asleep confused.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I meant to update it a lot earlier, I mean last week, but I have been too busy with school. Yes, I can blame the uni I started this fall and the new life I am experiencing. But here it finally is. I really hope you like it and you leave me something to read :) .**

**And happy NCIS day too ! New season airs tonight, I'll see it tomottow sometime, but enjoy the day. **

**L.**

*****NCIS*****

Jethro had never been the person to feel a lot of mixed feelings. He was that type of person to love and hate a person at the same time. He either loved or hated, but feeling both was not his thing. He was torn. One part of him wanted to kill Jenny and the other wanted to marry her. He didn't know what he wanted the most. He might wanna be with Jenny and raise a child, but what if the father comes to picture ? Jenny got over him rather fast and had a baby. That is not a thing to forget and forgive. But what can you do, when your heart is stolen by that devilish woman and somehow you find it hard to take it back, because maybe you are not ready to take it back just yet.

He was startled by the phone ringing. Quickly he ran to the living room to see Jenny answering the phone. She spoke in English, meaning it was someone from NCIS. Gibbs came behind her and tried to listen, but he failed.

After a few minutes on talk, Jenny hang up.

"What was it ?" he asked.

Jenny would have been scared if she hadn't heard Jethro coming before and feeling him standing there.

"It was Will. We have a meeting with our new friends today. Will will come over and watch Cath, while we are gone. Get ready to go on a formal event with former KGB guys. We'll see Callan there, but we aren't officially met yet, so don't make a face like you have seen him before. We'll leave at 8," Jenny said and walked to the kitchen.

"Got it. Are you okay ?" Gibbs asked. He wouldn't dare to leave his daughter home with Decker, when he was working. He followed her to the kitchen.

"Why shouldn't I be ?" Jenny asked without turning to him. She hadn't done anything to make him concerned, yet.

"You're leaving your child alone. Most of mothers can't stand the idea, so I am asking are you okay ?" Gibbs explained. He sneaked up on her and stood right behind her.

"First of all..." Jenny started, but she didn't finish, because when she decided to turn around she crashed into a flat chest. Their bodies came to contact. Gibbs' hands fell to her sides in case she planned on falling over. She felt that and liked it too much. The touch.

She got her mind to work again and hit him gently on the chest. He took a step back and took his hands away as he backed off. She missed the contact instantly. His hands gave warmth.

"Of course I don't like leaving Cath alone, but I know she's safe and that's what a mother needs. We need to know that our kids are safe and happy. Cath likes Will. It'll be okay. You know, I never imagined raising my child like that, but I didn't have the choice. Leaving the mission was not an option. I was scared, but somehow everything worked out. My partner Ziva was amazing and somehow everything worked out. Now I am not scared anymore, because I know Will won't let anything bad happen to her either," Jenny said.

"Okay. I just thought that I can probably handle this on my own and if you want to stay home, then it's okay," Gibbs said and looked at her. He was hoping to see any emotion, but Jenny was good. She looked indifferent to him.

"Thank you for the offer, but you don't get to mommy track me. Yes, I am a mother, but I am also an agent. Yes, everything has changed, now that I have another life to take care of, but I am still me. You wouldn't have done that in Paris. And please don't do that here either. If this is how it's gonna be, then we can't work together again," Jenny said. She was still indifferent to him, but he knew, that she was on the edge of breaking. She was scared and he knew it. He didn't care if she admitted it or not, the fact is that he loves her either way.

"I didn't mean to... I just wanted to be the good guy for once," Gibbs said and left the kitchen. He knew she might read something from the words and feel guilty. But the other chance was that he would have brought out Paris, and then there would have been a big fight. Probably he would have shouted his feelings to her, but he decided he'll do it, but he has to find the right way for it.

Jenny felt bad about the way this argument ended between them. But she too also sensed that they could have ended in a nasty fight about Paris. Probably she would have shouted that she loves him and Catherine is his daughter, but it's not the right way to do that.

***NCIS***

They didn't exchange words since that kitchen argument. Gibbs was in his room and Jenny was busy with her cranky child. And at the same time they both had to get ready for the night. It was time, when Decker should be arriving at any minute.

Jenny had her red dress on, when she ran to the kitchen to get food for Cath. Jenny's dress brought out her natural beauty and all the curves she had to offer. It was to her knees. He back was exposed to the world, but it was covered enough to let people wondering what was hidden. Her cleavage wasn't also too covered, but enough to make her look like a decent woman and not a whore. Her hair was in a loos ponytail, because Catherine loved to pull them and leave food and other dirt in them. Jenny had no make-up on, but the truth is that she quit using it, when she was pregnant. Afterward she found that going with her natural look gave her extra time in the morning and she desperately needed those 15 minutes of sleep. So when she was going to a party, she just used a little mascara and lipstick. Sometimes she went without. She didn't have her heels on yet. Had gotten a bottle for Cath, when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," She shouted and went to the door.

She ran to the door and it was Decker. Just like she thought. He was dressed in casual jeans and jacket. Jenny greeted him with a smile.

"It's Will," Jenny announced and let Decker in.

Gibbs came from his room and took in the sight. It was good, he decided. Jenny still looked gorgeous in dress – pregnancy had done nothing to her figure. He was in his tuxedo already. It was black as usual. He decided to wear a red tie and now it seemed like a good choice, because it matched with her dress.

"Hey Gibbs. Your babysitter is here, you're free to go," Decker said to Gibbs.

"Good. Now we can go and charm some bad guys," Gibbs said.

Jenny just looked at Gibbs. He looked great as always. She snapped back to reality. Gave fussy Cathetine to Decker and ran to her room.

"What's with her ?" Gibbs asked. He came closer to Decker, who was trying to feed Catherine.

"She is just not ready yet. You know women and their time," Decker said. He was lucky, because Jenny was still in her room, out of hearing radius.

"Is there anything we should know about this event ?" Gibbs asked.

"No. All you need to know was in your intel. Today is just a usual ball those people like to make to celebrate a year of success," Decker said.

"Okay. Think we can make it," Gibbs said.

Then Jenny decided to show herself. She came out of the room, her red curls loosely on her back, she had high heels on and she had decided to put on some make-up. She looked gorgeous. Gibbs' jaw fell open, but he managed to close it right after she noticed it. She had her purse with her, as always.

"Wow. You really have overdone yourself this time. May I come with you instead ?" Decker joked.

"Nope. I already have a guy, but thank you for the offer Will," Jenny said and smiled.

"I'll keep that in mind. What you should do is just go there, dance and try to make a contact. You two should look in love. And judging by the way Gibbs is looking at you, then it shouldn't be a problem," Decker said.

Gibbs cursed in his mind. Jenny looked amused.

She took Catherine from Decker, who was calmer now. She looked at her baby girl and snuggled her. It was still painful to leave her, but she had a job to do, beside she knew Cath was safe. Jenny placed a kiss on her temple and gave her back to Decker.

"You know where the things are and call me if something happens," Jenny said.

"We're good. Cath loves Ded," Decker said and Jenny let out a small laugh. Gibbs looked pissed.

Jenny gave Decker a kiss on the cheek and followed Gibbs out. The drive was quiet. A music was playing quietly, but neither of them was listening to it.

They arrived soon and he parked the car. Gibbs shut it down and got out. He walked over to see Jenny already out. He offered her his hand and she gratefully took it. He pulled her a little closer as they started walking towards the entrance. Gibbs lead and Jenny entered the big hall. They left their coats and went to the hall, where people were. Most of them were dancing.

Some people noticed Gibbs and Jenny entering. Most of them were men, looking at Jenny. Gibbs didn't like it, but he had to admit that he would have done the same. He would have looked at Jenny, except he didn't have look at her secretly – he came to the party with Jenny and he had to play he was as love with her as he really was.

Jenny was kind of enjoying the attention, but Gibbs didn't like it. She felt him pulling her closer. Her lips formed into a smile for a brief moment.

"Wanna dance ?" he whispered to her ear.

"I do," she said back quietly.

He lead her to the dancefloor. One of his hands went to her back and the other held hers. She placed her hand on his shoulder. Gibbs took the lead as they swayed on the floor. They danced as slowly as other couples. Gibbs looked around the room and saw some men looking at Jenny with the wrong look. Jenny was better than that. Those Russian maffia wannabees shouldn't look at her like that, she deserves better.

The song ended and new began. Gibbs didn't give Jenny a chance to pull away, instead he pulled her closer. Jenny laughed at the gesture, but he didn't take a notice. Those men had to understand that Jenny is with him, at least at this party.

A couple of songs later a true slow dance came. Gibbs let go of her hand and instead wrapped both of his arms around her middle. Jenny's hands went to hug his neck. Her head fell on his shoulder and he enjoyed the scent of her shampoo. Both of them closed their eyes.

Suddenly there was a knock on his shoulder. Both of them turned to see one of their former targets there. It was Vladimir, the one, who was supposed to get out of the business. Vladimir lead them to the bar, where he started a converation.

"Jacques and Jeanne – finally here. We missed you around here and I truly missed saying your names. You two are a lovely couple," Vladimir said in Russian. He took Jenny's hand and kissed the back of her hand.

"Nice to see you again. We were busy, you know the business – had to work in Greece and Italy and Serbia for awhile, but now we're back here," Gibbs answered in Russian.

"I want to introduce you a friend of mine. He is also known in France, but he is American from birth, but moved to France, when he was little," Vlad said and signed someone to come over.

A man with very short hair, tanned skin and cocky smile came to them. It was Callan. The three of them shared a look, but it was too short for others to notice.

"You called, Vlad ?" Callan asked.

"These are those French friends I told about – Jacques and Jeanne," Vlad said to Callan and pointed to Gibbs and Jenny.

"Very nice to meet you two, I am Gerard," Callan said. He shook Gibbs' hand and kissed Jenny's hand. He held his lips there for a moment longer than normal, but it wasn't noticed by others. Jenny and Gibbs both said their fake names.

They had a small talk for awhile, but then Callan asked Jenny to dance. He knew that Vlad wanted to speak to Jethro without Jenny there. He lead their dance.

"Nice to see you again," Callan said to her ear.

"Same to you," Jenny whispered.

"How are you and Jethro ?" Callan asked.

"If you meant if Jethro is okay with Cath, then we're good. He seems to deal with it nicely," Jenny said.  
>"Does he know ?" Callan asked.<p>

"No, but I'll tell him at some point," Jenny said.

Callan knew, because he knew the relationship and he put pieces together. He also worked with Jenny after she left Jethro. They shared some intel over missions and met a couple of times.

Jenny smiled and felt good dancing with her friend. Callan was her friend and he was Jethro's friend. He was their friend.

After a few songs Callan led them back to Gibbs and Vlad. Some other men had joined them and Gibbs had drowned a multiple glasses of vodka.

"I was just talking how lucky he is," Vlad said, when Callan returned with Jenny. Gibbs gave Callan a nod, when he gave Jenny back to Gibbs.

"Sometimes I am still wondering how I ended with a girl like her," Gibbs said and looked at Jenny.

She turned to red and smiled. Gibbs pulled her closed and wrapped an arm around her, the other held vodka.

"Now I have to look for my wife or she'll be pissed my friend. Gerard talk to Jacques about his first thing he has to do," Vlad said and left with his men. Only Gibbs, Callan and Jenny were left there.

"You have to beat up a guy named Vasja Stohhov. He fooled Vlad and now has to pay. I'll trust you're up for the job," Callan said still in Russian.

"No problem," Gibbs said and emptied his glass.

"I'm gonna use the ladies room," Jenny said and pecked Jethro's cheek. She left a faint lipstick mark there.

Both Gibbs and Callan watched her walk away. They noticed a lot of other men doing the same and looking at her with a wrong look. Gibbs wanted to punch someone. Instead he ordered another glass of vodka.

"How are you two ?" Callan asked, when Jenny was out of sight.

"We're getting along I think. Did you know that Jenny has a little daughter ?" Gibbs asked.

"Yes. She told me, when she was showing. We worked together for a short while," Callan admitted.

"I didn't know. I'm not supposed to ask this, but do you know who the father is ?" Gibbs asked. He was a little scared of the answer, but he might wanna know.

"Yeah. I know. She told me, but made me swear I won't tell anyone. Not even to you. But I can say that you know him and she promised to tell you at some point, but you can imagine that this isn't too easy for her either, so don't be too hard on her," Callan said. He was torn – he wanted to tell Gibbs some things, but he was also a friend of Jenny's and didn't wanna betray her.

"Okay. I'll wait. I don't know if knowing is better than not knowing, but I just know that I think I wanna know, until I realize that I really didn't wanna know. Does that make any sense ?" Gibbs asked.

"Yep. It does. At least I think so. She is a good woman and great mother. And I would only be guessing that you still love her," Callan said.

Gibbs just nod. He emptied his glass. Since he had never been a vodka type of man, he was starting to feel a little dizzy. He didn't manage to say anything before Jenny was back. He pulled her closer and ordered yet another vodka. Jenny was easy to come closer. His hand rested on her side, his fingers feeling the soft material of the dress. She leaned into him a little more and rested her head on his shoulder.

Gibbs and Callan fell into a conversation about sports while both men drank alcohol. Jenny was feeling them both getting drunker by the minute. She was sober there, she gave up alcohol, when she found out she was pregnant.

The party was slowly ending. People started to leave. Jenny tried to pull Gibbs to the door, but then Vladimir was back with some other guys. Jenny held onto Gibbs and he was happy. Men wanted to see if everything was in order. Jenny wasn't big fan of Russian, so she just decided to turn herself and bury her face into Gibbs' neck. Her back was to their Russian friends. She heard the other men admiring her and talking about it. Gibbs just kept on saying that he was lucky and loved her very much and also that they were happy together. She felt his hand drop to her ass, but she merely rolled her eyes. She knew it was to make sure others got that she belonged to him.

Jenny was lucky, when Gibbs announced that they have to leave. He might have added that they needed time alone with each other, but she wasn't sure. She got their coats. He was a little too drunk for her liking, but hopefully he could act.

They walked to the car. He held her hand as they walked.

"Give me they keys Jethro," Jenny announced.

Gibbs put his hands to the pockets and then found the keys. He gave them to Jenny and walked to the other side of the car. Jenny drove without the rush. The night in Moscow was quiet. Most of the people were at home and so the traffic was slow. It didn't took them too long before they were in front of their home. Jenny noticed the light in the living room, when they walked out of the car.

Decker had done good job – Catherine was asleep and he was waiting on the couch. As soon as the door opened Decker took his coat and almost flew out. He managed to get a thank you and have a good night from Jenny and Gibbs just gave a quick nod.

Jenny took off her heels before anything else. Then she checked if Catherine still was asleep. Then she went back to Gibbs. He was still standing in the hallway. She made him loose the jacket and shoes. Then she helped him with loosening the tie. Then he managed to walk to his room and she went to hers. She changed into the pajamas and went to brush her teeth, but she met Jethro waiting for her.

"You okay ?" She asked, when he kept on staring at her.

"You told Callan and not me," Gibbs said. They both know what they were talking about.

"I worked with Callan and he noticed so yes I told him. I needed to tell somebody about it," Jenny said.

"You could have told me. But no, you chose that cocky Callan over me," Gibbs said. He sounded angry and hurt – just like he felt, except he wasn't angry at Callan.

"Fine. You wanna know the truth ? But don't come to me, when you don't like it. I tried to save you," Jenny said.

"Saving me by hiding the truth ? Hah, nice Jenny, have to remember it for the next time," Gibbs mocked.

"I warned you," Jenny said under her breath, when she collected the strength to tell him.

"Come on girl. Just say it to me. It can't be that bad. Unless you slept with Anatoly or one of his friends and got pregnant," Gibbs said.

Even though Jenny knew it was the alcohol talking, it still hurt. It hurt that he'd even think like that. But she didn't want to let him think she was so low, so she just closed her eyes, counted to three and looked at him.

"You are the father of Catherine. Congrats," she said and pushed past him to the bathroom.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN - I'm back after a long wait. I'm sorry about that, but I had my birthday and first big test in uni and it was in chemistry, which is the hardest. So I have been busy, but I spent most of my Sunday writing it or looking for ideas and directions to head. **

**Thanks to - left my heart in Paris, Prettycrazy and KSBP for the reviews. It means a lot :) .**

**Now enjoy this. **

*****NCIS*****

Jenny was awake. It was late hour. Catherine was deep asleep and judging by noises coming from the living room, Jethro was awake too. She might wanna go there and take a glass of bourbon over years, but she doesn't want to face him. If only she hadn't shouted that to his face... She wanted to tell him in good way and not like this. She wanted to make sure that he'd be fine with that, now she isn't sure if she herself is fine with him knowing... Nothing is as it was the before. Nothing will be okay... And Catherine's life is changed forever. She might have a chance to spend time with her father and live with both of her parents. She might have a shot of as normal childhood as possible with special agents as parents. But she might also have 2 parents, that are unable to speak to each other, because her mother didn't tell her father about her earlier... Or this could be a chance of them to be a family, to settle down and enjoy life. Maybe there would be another child coming one day, maybe they would get married. Maybe Catherine won't be Shepard, but Gibbs instead. Maybe...

Jenny couldn't sleep. Her mind was working too hard for that. She didn't want to face Jethro, but at some point she had to – they were living together... not together, in same apartment, and that makes everything complicated. This time she has no way out – she can't run, if this doesn't work out, she can't hide, because there is a mission to complete and she won't let her personal feelings affect her work. She made that promise in Paris and it's time to make that promise again.

Somehow she really wanted a drink tonight. And she had to leave the room for that. Beside she really really had to visit the bathroom. It was hours after the argument with Jethro. Hours after the truth.

Finally she managed to stand from the bed. She put on her slippers and took a deep breath before exiting her room. She was correct – Jethro was sitting on the couch and drinking bourbon. He barely noticed her, if he noticed at all. She couldn't decide if it was a good thing or a bad one. She stayed in the bathroom for a little longer, because she stared herself from the mirror, while deciding what to do. Finally she found that she might as well face Jethro right now.

Jenny walked to Jethro and sat down next to him. She took the bottle and his glass and poured it for herself. Gibbs just watched her actions. Before she could bring the glass to her lips, Gibbs took it violently from her and drowned it.

"What ?" Jenny asked. She was annoyed with the loss of bourbon.

"Mothers don't drink. Only fathers are allowed to be jackasses," Gibbs said and poured some more for himself.

"Don't do this Jethro," Jenny said softly.

"Don't do what Jen ? You don't want me to drink ? Or you don't want me to be the father for my child ?" Gibbs asked.

"Don't drink. You've had enough," Jenny said and gripped the glass with bourbon. He was doing the same. They stared at each other and none of them was willing to lose the battle. Jenny was almost immune to her stare, so it made it easier for her. Gibbs on the other hand had always been turned on by the intensity of her emerald eyes. He loved looking at them, but at this moment anger, alcohol and mixed feelings for her made everything complicated.

Somehow Jenny managed to get the glass from him and empty it. She made a face, but it disappeared fast. Gibbs looked at her angry.

"What is your problem ? A few days ago you wanted me to have a drink," Jenny asked.

"A few days ago I didn't know some very important things. I didn't know that you get pregnant and then run away. Let me ask you a question – would you have told me if we weren't here ?" Gibbs asked. He almost shouted.

"I wanted to tell you. I called Ducky to ask for number or address or anything. And then I asked about you and he told me that you were getting married again. That was fast I thought. But then I realized that you never loved me, because you got over me rather fast. And I so I decided not to say, because then you could be happy and married and I'll manage on my own. You are in no position to judge me," Jenny said. She was raising her voice, but then remembered sleeping Catherine in the next room and lowered it again.

"I married to get over you. That's what I do. I get married. And then the marriage ends and I am left with my feelings for a woman, who is not around. Don't you dare to tell me that I didn't love you. I loved you then and I still do," Gibbs shouted.

Before Jenny could answer Catherine started crying.

"Excuse me, I have to comfort you daughter, who apparently doesn't like your drunk shouting," Jenny said and disappeared into her room. Gibbs heard the crying slowly fading. He decided he had to be there, he was a father after all. He stumbled into Jenny's room to see Jenny rocking Catherine, who was back at sleep. Jenny put Catherine back in her bed and pushed Gibbs out of the room and followed him.

"Could you now keep your voice low ?" Jenny asked drunk Gibbs.

Gibbs gave her the stare and walked back to the couch. He took the bottle of bourbon and poured himself some. He emptied his glass at once and turned to Jenny, who was sitting next to him again.

"Now, where were we ?" Gibbs asked.

"You were angry and pissed and probably hate me, and then you woke up Cath. That's where we were," Jenny said.

"I am angry at you. I am pissed. I hate you. That's right. And I am a father," Gibbs said and poured another glass of bourbon.

"Good. Now that we know, that you want to get rid of me, we can go to sleep and continue this tomorrow, when you are sober," Jenny said. She stood up, but Gibbs pulled her back down.

"We started this today and it will end today. Maybe your problem is the lack of alcohol – drink, Jen," Gibbs said. He poured a glass and then gave it to her.

She took a deep breath and drank a whole glass with one sip. She felt her stomach burning, her mouth tasted bad and her throat was on fire, but she didn't show it out. Just like she hid the fact that she was feeling a little dizzy.

"What do you wanna talk about ?" She asked him after a brief pause.

"I wanna know, why you left me ?" he asked.

She took a moment before opening her mouth. She really didn't know what to say. She left him for the job, but saying those words to him would mean admitting her mistake, which she had done quietly in her head, but never had said it out loud. It would make it real.

"I got an order. It was one time chance and it was SecNav, who insisted on taking it. They had it all set and I was waiting on a big future. I had to take it," Jenny said. It was the truth, but she left out the fact that she was thrilled by the offer. She made it sound like straight order from the highest boss and there was nothing she could have done.

"You didn't want to go ?" Gibbs asked and sipped his drink.

That hit her like a smack on the head. It felt kike one and wasn't sure what she wanted him to think. She didn't wanna admit the truth, but he was already angry at her and what's a little more truth gonna make it ? They were screwed either way and she might as well tell him. Beside he might not remember it the next morning, but she knew,that it's a lie. He has an excellent memory, even when he is drunk.

"Yes. I did. I wanted to take the offer," Jenny said.

"If there wouldn't have been that offer, would you have stayed ?" he asked. He looked deep into her eyes and searched for the answer.

"I guess we'll never know now, will we ?" Jenny said and turned her eyes away.

"Well, when we are into confessions, I got one. And it's a good one. You know about 3 of my wives, Ginger and Diane were before you and Stephanie was after Paris. Truth is that I have been married 4 times. I met my first wife, when I was leaving for corps. I married her shortly after that. 2 years later we had a daughter Kelly. They were my life. I loved them too much. But one day, when I was in Kuwait, I got an call that they were dead. A car crash. Shannon witnessed a murder and she was assigned a NCIS agent to protect her. The agent was shot while driving, car crashed and my world fell into many pieces. I married again to get over her, but I never could. Then you cam to the picture. I might have fallen hard again, but before I managed to figure it all out you left. And now you're back. And comes out I have a daughter, who is alive. I am dad again," Gibbs said.

Jenny was not sure what she was hearing. It was unbelievable. She thought that she knew Gibbs, but there are so many things she doesn't know yet. It's like some pieces fell into places. In Paris, when he was dreaming and asked for Shannon or Kelly... She now knew, that he wasn't cheating on her and he had no-one at the time. Shannon and Kelly were his past, but they will always be a part of him. It must hurt a lot to think of them, to talk about them. Knowing him, he probably blamed himself.

"If you hadn't been given this assignment, we might have had a chance to have a family. We would have worked it out with our work schedules and figuring out a way to keep her safe. I would have kept you and Cath safe, I wouldn't have let you out of my sight, because I would have loved you both. I would have proposed before Cath was born. I would have been perfect for both of you, but as crazy as it is work kept us apart. Just like it brought us together at first place," Gibbs said.

"Jethro... I'm sorry about your fist wife and daughter. I didn't know," Jenny said. Honestly, she was sorry about the accident. She had no idea, what it feels to lose a loved one and a child. Yes, she lost Jethro, but she ran away and she had a beautiful daughter to take care of.

"Yes. I don't tell woman this, because that makes them angry. They run after saying it. Comes out of with you I can do less. And to prevent your questions – yes, I still love Shannon. I still think of her and Kelley. I want them to be alive. And I will never let go of them. And you can run now," Gibbs said.

"I'm not going to go," Jenny said.

She felt his eyes on her, but she decided to keep on staring at empty room. She saw from the corner of her eye that he emptied another glass of bourbon and poured another one. This was also the last one, because the bottle was empty. She decided, that she needed to comfort him, but she didn't know how. The only way she knew included no clothing and that was not happening now. So she just put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed it.

He leaned into her touch for a moment before pulling her closer. She didn't protest. He turned to her and put his head on her shoulder. Her hands went to his back and she started running them up and down in a soothing way. He turned away and drank half of the bourbon, wordlessly he let her know to drink the rest. She did it. In the mean time, he had turned his body to hers and leaned on her. He was shaking softly. Without seeing his face she knew that he was crying. She didn't know what to say, so she was quiet. She just kept on running her hands up and down on his back. Her head was on top of his. Her presence made him feel a little better, but it didn't erase the anger and hating he felt for her at the moment.

He rose his head and looked at her. He might hate her, but it doesn't change the fact that he wants her. He leaned forward and captured her lips with his.

It was a hungry kiss. Passionate and deep too, but most of all it was hungry. He was hungry for her, she wanted him. Simple as it was, they weren't together, but their kiss was real. She tasted like she always had with a hint of bourbon. He tasted like bourbon and a little of the usual taste of him.

She knew, she had to pull back, but she didn't want to. Finally she did. Not because she wanted to, but because she needed oxygen. His hands kept on traveling on her body like they used to some years ago. His mouth attacked her neck with sweet kisses. She moaned.

"Jethro," She said. But it was serious voice, not her usual, when he kissed her.

"Mmm, Jen ?" He asked between kissing her neck.

"You have to stop," she said as seriously as she could, when he was trailing kisses on her jaw. At the end her voice went up, because he managed to bit the sensitive skin on her neck. For her there were mixed feelings – she wanted Jethro, but he was hurting and it was wrong to let him keep doing that. It felt good to be kissed by him, but the same he hadn't shaved in few days, so it was also scratchy.

Her hands moved to his shoulders and she pushed him a little, but his strength was bigger and he was back at kissing her. He moved to her jaw and then to her face.

"Just this once," he said and looked at her before capturing her lips.

She noticed his eyes were closed, but she kept hers opened, while she was deciding what to do. She kissed him back, but he did most of the work with that unbelievable force he had. After a few moments she decided to go with it – he needs this tonight. And she closed her eyes and enjoyed his kisses.

It wasn't long after he pushed her down on the couch, got on top of her and kissed her face, lips, neck... And she felt good.

* * *

><p><em>I know Gibbs would have never told her like this, but I felt she deserved to know. And I think she did, but I like to read all the hints as something in the show. And Gibbs isn't crying often, not in TV and not in stories, but I feel like he is just a person and he could cry sometimes. That doesn't make him less hot not less macho. <em>

_And please press that review button down here :) ._

_Liina_


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm sorry about the long wait. I apologize to all the readers. School has been hectic and I found that I have a free night, which is rare, really. It's not that long, but I hope I did good :) . And I am open to all suggestions. **

**L.**

*****NCIS*****

Everything was awkward. Jenny managed to slip into her room after Gibbs had passed out on top of her. He protested, but it was sleep protest that he won't remember the next day. If he remembers anything at all. She was nice to him. He covered him with the extra blanket and she put pillow under his head. Jenny also put a glass of water in case Jethro has an hangover in the morning.

Before leaving she gave him a glance and he seemed peaceful. Hopefully he'll be peaceful tomorrow too, because she probably won't be in a good mood to argue, beside she might suffer from an hangover. Alcohol is something she quit awhile ago.

Jenny went to her room. She pulled the covers and climbed into the bed. She watched the ceiling for a moment, trying to find comfort in the color white. She tried to feel something other than guilt, regret, pain and hate.

After a moment she turned her head away and closed her eyes. Sleep claimed her not soon after that.

***NCIS***

Jenny woke up by the cries of Catherine. Slowly she opened her eyes and took a moment to remember everything that happened last night. It came to her fast. She remembered the party, drinking and Jethro... She remembered it all, but the question is – does he ?

Catherine demanding cries made her get up and get her daughter. She calmed, once Jenny had taken her.

"Let's get you some food," she said and walked out of her room.

Catherine found her long red curls and wrapped her hands in them. She pulled a little, but Jenny has been used to that. Her head didn't feel too good, but she wasn't going to throw up. Her head was a little spinning and throat was dry.

Jethro wasn't on the couch, that was a good sign. She stepped to the kitchen corner. Noticing no coffee, she knew that Jethro was either in hangover or not awake yet, but knowing him – it was probably the hangover, because he was always awake before her.

Jenny put Catherine on the chair and took out her food. She prepared food for Catherine and at the same time did coffee.

No sign of Jethro yet.

Jenny placed the food in front of Catherine. She also put a cup of milk and then watched as she tried to eat. She giggled and looked proud of herself. Jenny couldn't help herself but smile. It was a sight to see.

Still no Jethro.

Catherine finished, when Jenny finished her cup of coffee.

"Are you finished ?" Jenny asked her daughter with a bright smile on her face.

Catherine laughed and held up her hands.

Jenny smiled, but didn't pick her up just yet. She took a towel and cleaned Catherine's face and hands. She removed her bib and then took her into her arms.

"Play, play!" Catherine said happily.

Jenny smiled again. She went to the living room and placed Catherine on the floor. She went to her room and got some toys for Catherine, who was right behind her, when she turned around.

"Catherine stays in one place," Jenny said. She wasn't angry, she just might crush her little girl one day, if she keeps sneaking up like that. She had became a nightmare, when she learned walking.

Jenny walked in front and Catherine was right behind her. Jenny put the toys on the carpet in front of the couch and watched as her offspring laughed and enjoyed playing. Her giggling was quite loud.

No Jethro.

Jenny made herself a sandwich and started eating a little away from Catherine. She decided to clean up the minor battlefield from the kitchen after she has eaten.

Jenny watched as Catherine played with her toys. Mother leaned on the counter as daughter stole her full attention. The coffee was good in the early morning and the sight wasn't too bad either. She finished her coffee and started the dishes. Then she cleaned the table, under the table, counter, chair, fridge, the other chair, stove, more floor... and that's when Catherine started crying. Jenny rose her head from under the table and managed to hit it. She was rubbing her head, when she went to her little girl.

Catherine had managed to hit herself with one of the dolls and that was causing the crying. Jenny picked her up and rocked her. She kissed Catherine's head and just tried to make it better.

Then Jethro had to wake. He came to Jenny and Catherine. He looked fine.

"How are you this morning ?" Jenny asked.

"My head hurts and I saw a crazy dream, but otherwise I am fine. How are you ?" he asked.

"Well, I hit my head and Cathie managed hurt herself too. And kitchen might still be dirty, didn't manage to finish cleaning that battlefield. And I made coffee," Jenny said simply. Not awkward yet.

"Bless you," Jethro said and disappeared into kitchen.

Jenny managed to make Catherine stop crying while Jethro was away. He appeared with a cup of coffee in one hand.

"You want painkillers ?" Jenny asked.

Gibbs' first reaction was to shake his head, but instead he nod.

"Wait a sec," Jenny said. She gave Catherine to Jethro without thinking and disappeared into her room, only to soon appear with a white pill in her hand.

"Here you go," She said holding the pill in front of him. She took Catherine from Jethro as easily as she had given her to him.

"Take it with water," She added.

Jethro gave her a stare and took it with coffee.

"About the dream I saw, do you happen to know if it was just a dream ?" Gibbs asked warily. So unlike him.

"I am not sure, but I don't think you were dreaming," Jenny said awkwardly. Not a conversation she wanted to have with him right now, nor ever.

"So, I really am... a father ?" Gibbs asked.

Jenny looked down and nod.

"I'm sorry about the way I acted last night. I didn't mean to be that angry," he said.

"It's okay. I kept something huge from you and you have every right to be angry at me," Jenny said. Her look was still on floor.

"Yeah you did," he agreed.

Uncomfortable silence fell over the room. Even Catherine didn't make a sound. She was simply playing with Jenny's red curls.

"I don't hate you," he said.

Jenny rose her eyes to him. Their looks met. Neither of them knew what to say and that's why the silence covered the room. It's like everything was covered in silence and nothing makes a sound. Like this moment is meant to happen and everything is impossible. Everything is new and complicated.

"I waited for you to come back to me after Paris. I waited for you to show up at my door and say that you love me and you'll never let me go again. I wanted you to come, because I didn't want to live without you. I wanted to marry you. But you never came. You never came to my door and said those things, because I waited. And I would have taken you back without a doubt," he said softly.

"I was scared. And working. I was scared to admit my mistakes. I was scared you don't want me anymore. I did care in Paris. Everything I did, everything I said – I meant that," she said.

"I don't know if I can trust you," he said slowly.

"I know," she said.

The silence came again.

"You haven't changed. You are still the same woman – your hair, your figure, your smile, your voice, your lips... You are still the same," he said after looking her up and down.

"I am not. I am a mother," she said without thinking.

"And I am a father," he snapped.

"We are parents. Nothing is the same, you should know," she said.

"Nothing is the same. Except you've had more time to adjust to that," he said roughly.

"I had. But I had no idea what I was doing. I was confused and on the edge of freaking out all the time. I was scared," she said.

"Well, that's no excuse," he said.

"I know. You know, I wanted to tell you. I called to Ducky to ask about you and ask your number, but he told me that you were getting married again. I didn't wanna ruin your chance of happiness. It seemed to me like you had forgotten me already," she said with a bitter tone.

"I was sad, depressed and she was there. Ducky introduced us and I just needed someone," he spoke as bitterly as she did.

"Mommy," Catherine said and cut the bitter silence between her parents. She was complaining the lack of attention turned to her.

"Yeah, honey ?" Jenny asked and looked down.

Catherine clapped her hands and giggled.

The tension from the room was gone with that simple movement from a little girl. Jethro and Jenny both looked at their offspring and previous argument seemed to be forgotten. Like they say – everything seems to make more sense, when you are looking at a baby.

"She okay ?" Gibbs asked.

"She's good. Just wanted to get her mommy's attention," Jenny said and looked at the giggling child in her hands.

"And her daddy's," Gibbs added.

Jenny looked at Gibbs, trying to figure him out, but obviously there was nothing to figure out at the moment.

"And her daddy's," Jenny agreed.

"Daddy ?" Catherine asked and looked at Jenny.

Jenny looked at Gibbs and he nod. Jenny turned to look at Catherine again.

"Yes, baby girl. This is Jethro. He is your daddy," Jenny said softly.

"What is daddy ?" Catherine was confused.

"Daddy is like mommy, only male. He cares a lot about you," Gibbs cut in and explained.

"Daddy love mommy ?" Catherine asked.

"Yes, daddy loves mommy," Gibbs said avoiding looking at Jenny.

Both adults turned their eyes to the little girl in Jenny's arms. Obviously she was enjoying the attention she was getting, but she also might be the reason her parents are getting along at this moment and will have a serious conversation later.


	9. Chapter 9

The whole day was tense. Jenny felt it and she was pretty sure Jethro felt it too, but they had avoided talking to each other the whole day. Catherine kept them busy on then TV or cooking or cleaning or showering... Whatever to push the conversation into future. But the night had arrived, Catherine was asleep and the two adults knew the conversation, that was about to come.

They both were in the living room, sitting on couch with a safe distant between them. She had her legs crossed and one hand loosely on her knee and the other in her hair – a sign that she is nervous.

He kept on looking at the TV, where the news came. He was good at Russian, so he understood the most of it.

"So..." she started.

"We need to talk," he ended her sentence.

"Yeah," she said simply.

He took a deep breath.

She took a deep breath.

He sighed.

"Okay. Let's make it easy. I love you, I have loved you for awhile and I don't think I'll stop anytime soon. I hope that I'll learn to trust you again and I want to be Catherine's daddy," Gibbs said with one breath.

Silence.

"Love you too," Jenny said simply after a short pause, while she collected herself.

"I want you Jen, but I can't trust trust you. How do I know that you're not leaving with our daughter one day ?," he said simply. As rough as it might be, it was the truth. Her actions didn't give him the assurance he was seeking.

"Let me prove you I have changed," she said and looked at him.

"First we have to finish this mission and then we can talk about it," he said.

She nod.

There was a slight chance they might not survive the mission, but it was nothing compared to the things they have seen and done.

"But what are we now ?" she asked.

"Partners. Friends. Parents. Roomies. Lovers maybe ? Whatever you prefer," he said simply.

"Guess so," she said simply in agreement. It all was true.

"Hey, let's watch a movie, enjoy the night and we'll see what comes," he said and switched the channel.

"Whatever happens, happens," she said.

Finally he found a movie channel and put the remote away. He moved closer to her and put his hand around her and she snuggled closer. Her head fell to his shoulder.

She felt good.

He felt good.

The movie was not good. The plot was messy, the actors were bad and the quality sucked. But the truth to be told – neither Jenny nor Jethro were paying attention to the movie, both of them were busy thinking.

"You know that I wouldn't have run ?" he asked after a long silence

Jenny nod.

"But you ran from me," he said. It was a statement.

"I had to do what was best for me," she defended herself.

"Did you know ?" he asked.

"Know what ?" she was confused.

"That you were pregnant," he said.

"No."

He turned to look at her.

"I had my suspicions, but I thought that I was just exhausted," she added.

"I thought women always knew. When they are late or when they gain a few pounds," Gibbs said.

"Yes, we do. My period has been hectic. It can be 2 weeks or 2 months, so I really don't notice that. I noticed, when I was in Napoli throwing up every morning and I couldn't keep the food down, when I started disliking coffee and I was really late. I was 9 weeks along then," Jenny explained.

"And you didn't bother to call me ?" He asked is raised voice.

"Oh, that would have been a nice call. Hey Jethro, remember me. I am Jenny, your ex-lover, who is pregnant with your child. Congrats on remarrying by the way," Jenny said sarcastically and held her hand like a phone on her ear.

"You should have called," he said.

"I know, but I didn't. And if I could go back, I wouldn't do it, because you were married for Christ sake," Jenny said in strong voice.

"I had the right to know," Gibbs replied angrily.

"You know now, be happy," Jenny said and left the couch.

"Am I legally her father ?" Gibbs asked.

"No. Catherine has no father legally," Jenny said.

"What ?" Gibbs was confused.

"I left the father line empty. So you are not forced into our life," Jenny said softly.

"I thought you knew me better," Gibbs said with disappointment in his voice.

"I guess we don't know each other at all," Jenny said and disappeared into her room.

Gibbs sat on the couch frozen. Jenny knew him. Or some part of him at least. She should know basically everything now, she didn't know about Shannon and Kelly, bot she knows now. Is there anything that Jen is keeping from him ? Now that his secret is out, it would only be fair, that her secret is out too.

He stood and walked to the room, where Jenny was. He considered knocking, but that would probably wake Catherine, so he decided to quietly push the door open. He caught the sight of Jenny sitting on bed before she stood up, pushed him out and followed him. The door was closed.

"Jethro, leave it be. After this mission is over, I promise to vanish from your life," Jenny hissed.

"I don't want that. I want to get to know my daughter. You can't take her away from me," Gibbs protested.

"We'll figure this out once the mission is over. It all depends, where I'll be sent and where you are sent," Jenny explained.

"No. We took the topic and we'll finish this right now," Gibbs said and gave her the angry stare.

"I'm immune to your stare, remember ?" Jenny smirked and lightened the mood a little bit.

"The Jenny I knew, would never keep such big things from me," Gibbs said.

"The Jenny you knew is no longer here," Jenny shot back.

"Then bring her back," Gibbs almost shouted.

"Keep your voice down. Someone is sleeping in the next room," Jenny said through her teeth.

"Yeah. There is. Someone, who should be my responsibility," Gibbs said in lower voice.

"But she's not. I can assure you that I can take care of her," Jenny said.

The tension was raising in the room and both knew it. It was slowly getting to the point, where both adults had to discover some feeling they have kept hidden in the back of their mind.

"But who is taking care of you ?" Gibbs asked after a pause.

Jenny stared at him. He could say that he is immune to that stare, but that would be a lie. She still could influence him with a look.

"I can take care of myself," she said coldly.

"I know. But even you need someone once in awhile. Everyone does. Why do you think I got married so many times ?" Gibbs asked.

"I have Catherine. I don't need anyone else in my life. I'll be fine," Jenny repeated confidently.,

"You're a bad liar. You'd be dead if it wasn't for me. In the Czech Republic, if you remember," Gibbs reminded her of a painful memory.

"Maybe, maybe not. Without you I probably wouldn't have many things right now," Jenny said and smirked.

Gibbs took a few steps closer and so closed the distance between them. He felt her hot breath on his neck and the scent of her conquered his nostrils.

"And you regret this ?" he asked.

Her breath was caught in her throat, as he stole the words she was about to say.

"No," she finally choked out.

"Good. Me neither," Gibbs said softly.

Gibbs tilted her head so she was looking at him. Their eyes met in a brief moment, before Gibbs leaned in pressed his lips to hers. Her protest died when their lips met. It was soft and tender at first, but then they wanted more and she opened her mouth for him. They explored the already discovered land of each other.

His hands were holding her tight to him. Their bodies were pressed together and they fit perfectly. She ran her petite hands up and down on his back.

They pulled away in the need of oxygen. Her head fell to his chest, which was rising up and down fast until his breathing evened out.

"Promise you won't leave me again," Gibbs whispered.

She nod on his chest without saying a word.

He loosened his grip on her and his calloused hands found their way under her shirt. He kissed her hair and started moving his hands on her warm skin. He closed his eyes. She raised her head and kissed his neck. Her hands also found their way under his t-shirt.

She kissed her way from his neck to jaw and then found his lips. This kiss was urgent – all lips, tongue and teeth with the rush of feelings. He pushed her to the wall and pinned her between wall and his firm body. His hands started moving faster and faster and his grip went stronger. Jenny moved her hands from his back to his belt. He stopped and pulled away.

"Are you sure ?" He asked in rough voice.

"Yes," she replied in sensual voice.

a

"Jen, we can wait," he said – he didn't want her to regret.

"You don't want me ?" she asked.

"I want you. I don't want you to get hurt or regret anything," he said softly.

"I won't," she whispered. Her hands moved to the hem of his shirt and he let her pull it over his head.

He didn't say anything instead kissed her.

"Bedroom," he said when she removed her lips from his and attacked his neck instead.

"Yeah," she merely answered.

He lifted her up and kissed her. She wrapped her long legs around his waist. Their mouths stuck together he carried her to his room. He put her down in front of his single bed. Her small hands found his belt once again within seconds his light blue jeans fell to the ground. He was battling with her tight dark blue jeans at the same time and finally managed to get them down to her knees. He laid her on the bed and climbed on top of her, while her jeans fell to the floor. Their mouths never leaving each other during the dressing.

They were both left in their underwear, when they fell to the bed. Gibbs carefully held his weight over her, so she can decide how much she can handle.

Gibbs ran his hands on her body, desperate with need. He found it's way to her back and unclasped the bra, Jenny helped him and threw it to the floor. His boxers flew away next leaving him naked and she in her panties.

He had troubles thinking, as he was already hard as hell and more than ready to make love to her. He pulled his lips from her mouth and kissed her neck while his hands played with her breasts and then moved to remove the panties, but he underestimated his power and managed to rip them apart.

Jenny made a sound and then remembered to pissed about her broken underwear later.

He moved his lips to her face and kissed her jaw, her cheeks, her eyes... And then he pulled away to look at her. It was like asking permission and giving her the easy way out if she wanted to.

Instead Jenny wrapped her long legs around him and pulled him to her. He didn't need other assurance and entered her in one movement. She bit his shoulder to hold back the sound, that was about to escape her lips. Her nails dig into his back and he felt the familiar pain caused by her sharp manicured nails.

She released his shoulder and loosened her grip on him. Lips found lips as he began to thrust in her. Their moans were muffled in kisses. The sweat was visible on their heated bodies as the climax was building. Fast.

"Jen ?" he asked when he felt he was ready.

"With you," she panted.

He attacked her lips once more and his one hand pulled her hair, while the other was resting on the sheets by her shoulder. Her hands were on his back pulling him closer to her. She came first with a soft cry, which was muffled in her mouth and he followed a few thrusts later with a groan also muffled in the kiss.

They were both panting, when it was over. She loosened her grip and he slipped out of her. Since it was a single bed and rolling off of her meant falling to the floor, Gibbs hovered over her before managing to flip them over, so her light weight was halfway on his.

"That was..." he started.

"I know," she agreed.

He kissed her hair and wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled into him, so her head was resting on his shoulder, below the neck and her hands playing with the hair on his flat chest.

"I wish you had bigger bed. It's nice being so close to you, but we'd fall of the bed during the night," Jenny said softy.

"I gave the bigger bed to you," he said simply.

"Then we should switch rooms," she said.

"Nah, we still have a couple of rounds to finish and we can't on the other room," Gibbs said.

"Really ?" she smirked and got out of his grip and instead sat on his abdomen.

Gibbs smiled and pulled her down for a kiss before his hands started wandering on her body.


	10. Chapter 10

**I do apologize for the extremely long wait, but things have been hectic and time is slipping away way too fast. I try to do my best and continue this one as long as I have readers and ideas. I hope the chapter was worth the long wait. And it means a lot to me if you'd take your time and review :) . **

**L.**

The night came with more snow. The temperature fell and the water on streets became ice. White snow covered the roads, parks, trees and rooftops, so everything reminded a beautiful dream. The time, when you had to wake 15 minutes earlier to clean the car from snow and sidewalk so you can go to work, is finally here. Even though there was enough snow, it kept on falling down on that cold Moscow night.

Most people didn't see the view, when snow was falling and road workers started cleaning the city. Gibbs and Jenny were no exception. They were in deep slumber, when it happened. They didn't feel the cold air pressing itself through the windows and door into the room. They were wrapped up in each other with their still naked bodies in contact under the covers.

Suddenly a cry was heard through the silent apartment and both adults were up and alarmed. Gibbs reached for the gun, but Jenny stopped him.

"It's Cath," she whispered and climbed off the bed.

Jenny found her panties, jeans and his t-shirt, she dressed and walked out of the room. Gibbs looked at the empty room for a moment and then got his boxers and jeans and left his bedroom to go to the other bedroom.

He stopped at the doorway, when he looked and saw Jenny holding and rocking Catherine in her arms. Their baby had almost calmed down, when he arrived.

"Go put your shirt on," Jenny said softly, when she noticed him watching them.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at her, but she kept her look steady.

"Don't come near Catherine half-naked. It's a rule," she said in the same soft voice.

Then he realized that she was serious about putting his shirt on and he disappeared for a moment to reappear with a casual gray t-shirt on.

She gave him an approving look.

"She back asleep ?" he asked, when he noticed that the little girl was silent.

"Almost. You should go too," Jenny replied.

Gibbs gave her a disapproving look before walking up to her. He was behind her, his hands on her sides and his chin on her shoulder looking at the almost asleep baby in her arms.

"Are you joining me ?" he asked in whisper near her ear.

His warm breath caressed her tender skin and she bit her lip for a moment before answering. She took her time before answering.

"You're bed is too small," she replied.

"Your bed then ?" he whispered.

"I don't know if it's a good idea. Maybe it's better if we use different beds. There won't be any sex anyway," she said barely above the whisper the last sentence.

"Jen, I don't want you for sex, if that's what you want, then we shouldn't do it at all," he said.

She felt him remove his hands and taking a few steps back. She sighed. Yeah, they had to talk. She heard him walking back to the doorway and waiting there.

A few moments, when she was rocking Catherine gently, she was busy thinking. She didn't know what to say or what to do. She wasn't sure if she knew what she wanted. There was too much between them, of course Catherine was the main priority to her, but she wasn't sure what Jethro wanted. Jethro was a mystery.

Feeling she was ready and seeing Catherine asleep, Jenny placed her child in crib and watched as she slept unaware of the conversation about to take place. Unaware that this might change her life forever just as well as her parents lives.

Jenny left the room to see Jethro leaning on the wall between to bedrooms. She silently closed the door to her bedroom and turned to the marine.

Neither of them said a word. They just looked the ground in an uncomfortable silence. Jenny didn't know where to start and Gibbs wasn't sure he wanted to have this conversation.

"Guess we need to talk," she broke the silence.

"Do you want this or not ?" he asked.

"I want you, but I don't want to force myself on you with the new responsibilities. I don't know if I can trust you. Let me finish please," she said when she noticed him opening his mouth.

He nod and stayed silent.

"I don't wanna know why you think I left. I left because I was scared of getting hurt. I heard you mumbling Shannon and Kelly – I thought they were some women waiting for you in home or some women you love... I was sure that we'd be over once the mission is done. I was preventing myself from getting hurt, so I ran. And I am not sure if I can become the woman I was before those doubts and trust you like I should," she said.

She avoided his gaze she felt on her. Her emerald eyes were on the floor, no way that she wanted to face him, because of his reaction and for once she didn't know what to expect.

"No more lying, no more hiding Jen," he said simply after a short pause.

She looked up and nod. They could do that – be honest and open about things, right ? Jenny could let go some of her secrets to make this work, it's not that hard.

"Why we can't be one of those regular and boring couples, so we can fight about laundry or dishes not about where are we going to live or if one of us has to quit," she whined.

"Because then we would be boring, but we are not. That makes us perfect the way we are. But it doesn't matter if you work in a federal agency or as a teacher in an elementary school, I love you nevertheless and we'll be okay no matter what. We just need to learn to trust each other and we'll figure it out eventually," he said in assuring way.

He took a step closer and pulled her in a hug.

"I love you, Jen. Remember that and then we'll be okay," he whispered in her hair.

She nod into his chest and held her close.

"I love you too. Always have and always will," she said quietly, but loud enough for him to hear.

He kissed the top of her head and held her tight against his flat chest. Her hands were resting on his back. He knew, that things weren't perfect, probably he and Jenny aren't able to maintain a perfect and stable relationship, but he knew that he wouldn't have it any other way, because everybody needs a little adventure and that's what his relationship with Jenny will be, specially with Catherine in their lives.

"I wanna sleep," she said and slipped out of his embrace.

He watched as she went back to her room and left the door halfway open and then he knew without anyone saying, that this is her invitation. For a moment he thought there, tried to figure out what he wanted, but he already knew it – he had everything he wanted waiting for him.

Jethro walked to the room, and closed the door. He saw Jenny was already under the blanket with her back towards him, probably waiting for him. He walked over to the closet, and took off his jeans and t-shirt. In his boxers, he climbed quietly to the bed. He moved close to her and cuddled her from the behind.

He felt her body relax in his arms as he pressed his mouth to her neck, so he could breathe in her scent, which he adored. He heard her breathing even out and slumber taking over her. There were another heavy breaths coming from the other side of him – Catherine. Gibbs let those relaxing breaths and Jenny's scent lull him into relaxing sleep.

***NCIS***

The morning came too fast. When Jenny opened her eyes, she was alone in the room – Catherine and Jethro were missing. She didn't hear them leaving – she always hears everything. Then she heard it – talking from the other room, probably from the kitchen, where Jethro was trying to feed Catherine or she was convincing him to play with food.

Whatever they were doing, Jenny's gut told her, that this is not something good. Catherine was just a toddler and Jethro was no better at times. There were plots running wild in Jenny's mind, one worse than another, all about what Jethro and Catherine might be doing.

Lazy and still tired, Jenny got up from the bed and made her way to the kitchen side. She was greeted by the smell of pancakes and happy voices. Jenny was yawning, when she reached Jethro's sight. His eyes caught her and he felt warmth inside of him – he was happy.

"Catherine, look who's here ?" Jethro turned to the toddler, who was sitting in her chair with her back to Jenny. He pointed behind to Jenny and Catherine did her very best to see behind her back, but she couldn't.

"Good morning, sweetie," Jenny said and walked to her baby girl.

"Mommy," Catherine cheered and held her hands up, so Jenny could easily pick her up. And that she did.

"Do you like Daddy's pancakes ?" Jenny asked her daughter and wiped her mouth from the jam.

"Yum," Catherine said and she put her hands on her tummy to show, that she really liked her breakfast.

"There are some left if you want," Gibbs said and looked at his two favorite female.

"Sure these are safe ?" Jenny asked and raised her eyebrow in teasing manner.

"I don't know, but if they aren't my child would be in danger too. Don't think I'd risk with that," he went along with the tease.

"We'll see who is good and who isn't afterward. But you know if anything happens to her, I'll castrate you," she said and smiled wickedly.

Gibbs had an horrified face before he collected himself and hid it. He knew that Jenny was joking – there was no way he'd put Catherine's life in danger. Just like he'd always protect Jenny.

Jenny placed Catherine back on her chair and walked over to Gibbs. He placed his hands on her hips and leaned in for a quick kiss, but once his lips met hers, he knew that he couldn't just pull away and so he deepened the kiss. Her hands found their way around his neck into his hair and moved his strong arms to her back, pulling her closer.

She was the first one to pull away, when she remembered Catherine's presence.

"Pancakes sound nice," she said and left his embrace. Not that he was happy about it, but he let her go and sit down by the table with a plate with 2 pancakes on it and blueberry jam on the table.

Gibbs came to sit next to her. His hand found it's way to her thigh.

Catherine was babbling in her language quietly and not paying attention to the adults in the room.

The quiet morning was disrupted by the doorbell ringing. Jenny and Gibbs changed looks, before acting. They both stood. Jenny took Catherine and Gibbs grabbed his gun from the bedroom. He went in first to the door, Jenny stayed back, holding her daughter close to her body.

"Mommy, what's wrong ?" Catherine asked.

"Nothing. We just need to be quiet for a moment," Jenny said and switched one last look with Jethro, before he unlocked the door and opened it. His gun was hidden behind his back just in case.

The door opened and Decker walked in.

"Good morning love birds," he said happily.

"Ded," Catherine said as she recognized the man in the hallway.

"Here's my girl," Decker said and came to pick her up. Jenny let her go and followed Decker to the living room.

Gibbs closed the door, locked it and joined others on the couch.

"What's this visit about ?" Jenny asked.

"Right to the point. We had some troubles with our dear Russian friends. We are ending this mission, Callan's alias was compromised, we don't know what gave him away, but Morrow decided to fly him back to states. You will stay here, so maybe we can wrap this case up and finish it as we planned, but I suggest you to lay low. I'm gonna try to make them calm again and then we'll see what happens. Just keep your eyes open," Decker said.

"What are we after anyway ?" Jenny asked.

"We need the code Vladimir uses to ship weapons to Europe. We discovered that they are now doing it through Finland, Estonia and Latvia, meaning they use to Northern border. The names of workers on border and times would be helpful. Callan never got that far," Decker explained.

"So basically you are handling this to us ?" Gibbs asked.

Decker nodded.

"How are we supposed to do this ? This is not Paris. Now we have to keep someone at home because of Catherine. There is more in sake due to her. We can't just disappear if something goes wrong, we have to travel with a baby and 2 Americans with a child would look suspicious," Gibbs bursted.

Jenny put her hand on his shoulder to calm him down. He was right, but it wasn't Decker's fault, orders came from Morrows and they both knew it.

"You'll manage. Morrows is planning on moving Leon Vance here to help us out and possibly two other agents – Angela Johnson and Derek Burrows. We don't know that yet, I guess we'll see what happens. But you don't contact Vlad, he'll come to you. If he talks about Callan – you know nothing," Decker said. He was ready to leave now and everybody sensed that, except for Catherine, who was happily playing with Decker and totally enjoying the attention she was getting.

"We'll figure it out," She agreed, even though she had no idea how. She didn't want to put Catherine in danger, but since she and Gibbs were now the main players, she had to be involved. Of course they could get the information fast and then get back home or wherever their careers took them.


	11. Chapter 11

Her phone has been ringing for a long time now, but so far no-one had tried to answer. The person on the other end must be going crazy now. It must have been 6th or 7th time that the phone rang. Finally she ran from the bedroom to answer.

"What ?" Jenny shouted.

"About time, Shepard," NCIS director Tom Morrow said on the other hand.

"Sorry, I was busy. I was thinking about the game plan and Catherine was getting on my nerves," Jenny said in one breath.

"Where is Gibbs ?" Morrow asked.

"Out with the Russians, they called and asked him to come. Something wrong ?" Jenny answered, the worry obvious in her voice.

"Everything is going according to plan, at least how much it can with those missions. I wanted to let you know that those 2 agents will be coming and taking over the mission, at least part of it. I'd like to bring you out, because of Catherine. You can think of me as jackass, that I gave you the mission, but I don't like innocent deaths and I do care about the well-being of your baby girl," Morrow explained.

"Gibbs ?" Jenny asked.

"I knew that was coming. He'll stay in Moscow. I can't pull him away too, we are short on trained agents and he is already in," Morrow said.

"I won't be coming home without him," Jenny stated.

"I was afraid of that. It's your choice Jenny. I'll give you till Sunday, it's 4 days. Johnson and Burrows will arrive in 2 weeks. I'll figure out the game plan by that, until that be safe and keep Gibbs under control," Morrow said and chuckled.

Before Jenny could answer she heard moving in the hallway. She moved to her gun and had that ready to shoot. She heard the lock moving and then opening. She aimed at the intruder, but comes out it was just Gibbs.

"Jenny, you there ?" Morrow asked.

She had forgotten the phone on her ear.

"Yeah. Gibbs came, wanna talk with him?" She asked.

"No. I trust you to pass the information," he said simply.

"I will. Bye," she said and shut the phone before Morrow could say his goodbye.

Jenny put her gun on the table, put his phone beside it and went to greet him. He managed to take off his coat and skarf.

"Who was that ?" Gibbs asked, when he saw her appear again.

"Morrow," she said.

She moved closer to him and kissed him. He leaned in to have a better hold of her. Her hands pulled him closer he did the same. Their tongues did the dance they knew so well.

Finally they pulled away in the need of air. Their breathing was rapid.

"That was nice," he commented.

"I was scared," she admitted.

"Hey, I'm good. This isn't a mission that could kill us. What did Morrow want ?" he asked, when he remembered about the phone call.

"He'll be bringing 2 other agents here in 2 weeks. He also wants to bring me home, but I refused the offer of course," She said and hugged him tight.

He took a hold of her hands and pushed her so far that he could look at her.

"You did what ?" he asked.

"I won't leave you here alone," she protected her side.

"I'll be fine. You take the chance and go home. Get Catherine away and be safe," he said looking in her eyes.

"I won't leave you. Yes, I want Catherine to be safe too, but I want you too. If something happens, I can't have another you. So I am staying," she stated.

"What if Cathering gets dragged in the middle of this ? What will happen if she gets hurt or worst killed, because the mission goes south ?" he asked in raised voice.

"It won't. We'll have this under control. Jethro, I can't leave you again. Today I was having troubles getting Cathering to sleep, because she wanted Daddy. She can't lose you, because somehow she is so used with you that she needs you just as much as I do," she said louder than she planned.

The cry came from the other room.

"And now I managed to get her awake again," she said in annoyance.

"I get this," Jethro said, kissed her temple and left her standing there alone in front of the door. She heard him talking with Catherine and singing a lullaby. She had a smile on her face – yeah, he was good at it, unfortunately they might be separate again...

"She's asleep," he said as he came back to her. She hadn't move from the spot he left her standing. Her mind was full of countless ways this could end. She didn't know what to do and it wasn't her fault – if you don't know then you won't know until it snaps and you have your answer.

"Jen ?" he asked.

"I'm still here, if you mean it," she said quickly recovering and coming back to the present moment.

"Now, you'll call Morrow and tell him that you'll be coming home. I'll finish this mission and come home to you, darling," he said softly.

"I need you Jethro," she said quietly, but he heard it, even if it was barely.

He didn't reply, instead pulled her closer and hugged her. His hands kept her body pressed tight to his flat chest.

"Jen, I'll come back to you. I won't survive without you by my side. I depend on you and even if you are in DC and I am here, we'll find our way. We will make this work I promise. I won't let you get away again," he whispered to her ear.

"If you ever dare to let go of me, I'll castrate you," she threatened.

His chest moved in laughter and she felt the shaking. He moved his head and tried to catch her eyes. They looked each other for a quick moment, before their lips crashed together and he pushed her to the door. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around her middle. Her hands were under his shirt, touching her back, while he struggled with his belt and zipper, and then moving to her waistband. He probably ruined her panties, when he got rid of them in one rough movement. She had pushed his boxers down the same time and without second guessing he thrust inside of her. He gave her a moment before he started thrusting.

Their moans were muffled in the kiss they were sharing. It was fast and their climax reached it's peak too fast for their liking. She hit her head on the door, when she finally came and broke off the kiss, he hid his face on her shoulder.

Neither Jenny or Jethro moved for a moment – they needed to get down from their high.

"Damn, I'm gonna miss that," he said, his breathing still rapid.

"You live in Moscow, I'm sure you can find some woman willing enough and if you're lucky she's a redhead too," she teased.

"Maybe I will, but I don't need it. I already have my woman and she is a redhead too. Plus I have a child with that woman, so I'm good," he said and kissed her cheek.

He sensed that she was recovered enough to stand on her own and let her down. He pulled his boxers and jeans back up while she did the same.

"Plus my head hurts and I am pretty sure it's your fault," she said and raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't hear you complaining before, Jen," he smirked.

She playfully slapped his chest to smother the laughter that escaped from his lips, but not too long after she was laughing too.

***NCIS***

"Jenny, we need you out on the field, I'll be there in 10, get Gibbs and dress casually," Decker said on phone and hang up before Jenny had chance to say anything.

She looked at Jethro confused. Gibbs was sitting on the couch and watching Catherine color one of her books. Jenny had left her spot right next to him, watching their daughter and letting life be normal, even if it is just for a night.

"What Decker wanted ?" he asked, looking at her.

"He said that we are going out and he'll be here in 10. We should dress casually," she said, but she didn't move from the place she stood while

"That's not good, when Decker calls us like that, beside you were supposed to leave soon," Jethro said and took Catherine to his lap.

"I don't know. We'd better change, Cath will be okay on her own for a moment," she said and went to the bedroom.

Gibbs put Catherine down so he could change. Jenny was right, Catherine went back to painting and probably didn't realize that her parents had left the room. When Gibbs came to the bedroom, Jenny had already changed and his clothes were on the bed. He pulled his black jeans on and removed his loose t-shirt to replace it with tighter long-sleeved shirt. She just stood there, waiting and watching. This time Jenny's look didn't belong to his lover, it was his co-worker's.

Doorbell rand as he finished changing.

"Decker," she said and went to the door.

Decker rushed in without the invite. Gibbs pointed to the bedroom and so the three of them walked there.

"Talk," Gibbs barked.

"We have a situation. Our friends are planning on murdering local arms dealer, but they don't trust anyone anymore. You will be asked there, but they are suspicious about you two, so play your cover well and try to stay in the background. Earn your trust, but do it slowly, so they won't realize how much you know and how valuable you really are. Whatever you do, don't mention your child – that will destroy you," Decker said quietly.

"I have no plan of dragging Cath in the middle of this," Jenny hissed.

"Just letting you know. I'll stay with Catherine and you two are headed to the Red Square, where people are waiting for the New Year to start, they'll call or look for you there," Decker instructed.

"Okay," she said after a moment of silence.

Jethro looked at Jenny, Decker and then Catherine. His eyes stopped on his little girl and it reminded him of his mission – get home fast and safe.

"Keep an eye on her," he said softly to Decker.

"I will," Decker said and nod.

Gibbs placed his hand on the small of her back and leaded her to their coats and then out of the door.

"By car or on foot?" he asked.

"Cab. We can't drive there, because streets will be closed and we can't walk there, because it's too long distance," She replied easily.

"You're probably right," he said and leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled back.

"Let's find the cab, Jethro," she said simply.

"There are probably some by the shop nearby," he said, but his voice was cold.

They walked in silence to the local shop, where yellow taxis were parked. They walked up to the first one and Gibbs set their destination point. The driver and Jethro exchanged some occasional sentences, but otherwise the drive was quiet. After reaching the town center he payed the bill, wished driver happy new year and then they left the taxi to get to the Red square.

Despite the fact that it was almost midnight the city was full of life. They walked through the Tverskaya street leading them to the Kremlin itself, where the President of Russia residents. Snow had made it white and beautiful. At this time no cars were allowed here as people walked randomly at the heart of Moscow.

When more people started coming around Jethro grabbed Jenny's hand and pulled her close as they walked. People randomly passed them, talked in Russian, offered vodka or champagne and some even came to hug them to wish them better new year or something like that. Jethro wasn't generally bothered, but when people came close to his Jenny, he felt the urge to punch every guy talking to his woman, but he didn't want to get any attention, so he controlled himself and found satisfaction in the fact that she is here with him.

Finally they reached the Red square at the heart of the Russian Federation. It was already full of people, so Jethro and Jenny stayed a little further from the center. He looked at the time and found that they still have 25 minutes before the fireworks starts.

"You wanna walk a little? It's cold to stand, plus we have time," he asked her.

"Sure," she simply replied.

They walked back the way they had came, but turned left on the first chance. Her hand was still on his as they walked in the Moscow winter. They managed to get on a street with no people beside them.

"Are we okay?" he asked.

"Shouldn't we be?" she answered with a question.

He stopped and looked at her.

"You've been distant. It's like you're planning on leaving me," he said out his thoughts.

"I'm not leaving you. I've just got a lot on my mind," she said offering him a smile.

"Wanna share? I'll take half of the weight on me," he spoke softly.

"I'm a woman. I think a lot, sometimes I over-think everything. I'm just constantly scared and it's not something you can help with," she explained.

"I'll keep you safe," he said quickly.

"But who's gonna protect you?" she asked the question he couldn't answer.

The stood in silence for a moment and then he kissed her giving her no way to escape. He pulled away too fast for his liking, but he sensed her rejection.

"You'll keep me safe. I'll be good for you and Cath, because I am not ready to give you up," he said simply.

She closed the distance and hugged him. Her voice was muffled in his coat, but she might have said that she doesn't want to let him go.

"I love you Jen. When we are back home, I might as well marry you and make you legally mine. We could change Cath's name, so she'll be mine too on papers. I'm done with other woman as long as I have you. I have you and Catherine and that's all I want and I won't let anything or anyway ruin that," he whispered.

Her eyes flew open, but her body was stable.

"We should go back," she said letting him go.

He smiled, took her hand and they went back the way they had came. Back at the Tverskaya street a man gave them champagne and talked in Russian, but Jethro didn't bother to answer and Jenny wasn't really listening.

The Red Square was now packed with people. Someone announced that it's five minutes before midnight. Jenny and Jethro stopped a little further than before. His free hand went around her and the other held the champagne. She snuggled close to him to seek the warmth in the ice cold night.

The countdown started at 20 seconds. When the numbers get smaller she got out of his embrace and they looked at each other. In that moment in the crowded Moscow night, they had time for just each other. The blocked out the surroundings and had eyes only for each other. As the fireworks started the champagne bottle fell to the ground and the glass shattered into millions of little pieces as Jenny and Gibbs crashed their lips together. Nothing else mattered at the moment.

They were interrupted by a knock on his shoulder. Gibbs pulled away from the kiss to see familiar face there.

"Happy new year my friend. Care to join us?" Vladimir asked with a devilish smile.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN! I do apologize for the very long wait, but everything has been hectic and I finally got around to it to finish this chapter. I don't know where it is really going, but I do know that I will update this again. I have some ideas I still want to write. And I do hope that I get time to update it at least once a month, because I wanna go on with this. But enjoy this :) .**

**L.**

Jenny and Jethro followed Vladimir to the car parked nearby and they drove to his place they already knew. Gibbs held her hand in his the whole time and ran his thumb on the back of her hand. It's a small gesture he used to do, when he could sense that she was nervous. This time he did it to soothe both of them. Even though he refused to admit it he had the bad feeling he used to get, when something bad was about to happen.

"It's like in the Czech Republic," she whispered to him.

He kissed her cheek and didn't say anything about his bad feeling – it would only make her more nervous.

The car stopped in front of an old house, where party happened to be. He led her out of the car and pulled her close. They followed Vladimir inside, where some people greeted them, others just walked by.

Vladimir led them to the roundtable on the corner with snacks on it. He gestured Jenny and Gibbs to eat, but they passed. They did not pass the champagne handed to them.

"Eat, dance and enjoy the New Year, we'll talk business later," Vladimir said and disappeared with a woman, who was his supposed wife, girlfriend or mistress. You couldn't say which one from the distance.

Gibbs grabbed some apples on the napkin and offered to her. She refused.

"Eat, you need energy," he said softly.

"I can't eat right now," she replied fast.

"You skipped lunch and barely touched the dinner. At this moment it is not a recommendation nor politeness, it's an order," he said roughly.

She took a piece of apple and forced into her mouth so he could see it. He rewarded her with a kiss on her temple.

Jethro took a plastic plate and put the traditional potato-beef salad on it with some pickles, smoked herrings and stuffed eggs. He took 2 forks and handed one to Jenny. They sat down on the chairs by the wall. Jenny sent him a look, but getting back one from him, she started eating, because she really was hungry.

They were offered shots of vodka, which they took in with pickles. Comes out it is pretty traditional here, but not so usual in USA nor other Western countries as much as they knew. But somehow vodka and pickles go together, but it takes some getting used to.

Both of them took 3 shots of vodka, before they managed to finish the food.

"Don't let me drink anymore, because I might get drunk," she whispered.

"Getting you drunk isn't that bad idea, because then I might get lucky today," he teased.

"If I'm drunk, then today might end very soon," she said seriously.

His response was to pull her closer and kiss her hair. He let his lips linger there a little longer than usually.

"I love you," she said in whisper.

"That'll be the day," he teased, knowing she'd understand.

She let out a little laughter followed by him. Their bodies shook together in perfect unison as they let the joke make their moment cheerful.

"Will you dance with me?" She asked after they had calmed down.

He stood up and held out his hand for her in response. She willingly took it and let him lead her to the dancefloor. He pulled her close and they started swaying together in the rhythm of music. Her head fell to his shoulder, but he was already used to it, besides he liked the small gesture. He put his head on hers and closed his eyes. Jenny was his precious and he'd keep her at any matter. He'll keep her safe no matter what.

The songs were all in Russian, so Jethro could understand, but Jenny managed to make out just a few words. Songs were beautiful, but without any deeper meaning.

Their slow dancing was interrupted, when Vladimir appeared and knocked on Jethro's shoulder. He looked up and that motion caused Jenny to move too.

"I think we have some things to discuss," he said quietly.

"Of course," Jethro replied,

Gibbs took Jenny's hand, squeezed it in reassurance, pulled her close, so their bodies were in contact and they were ready to take whatever Vladimir had to offer.

Vladimir looked at them and smiled.

"I'm sorry, I think you misunderstood. This talk is for men only. I'm sure Jeanne will find something to do while we are away," Vladimir said. Turning to Jenny, he added "Don't worry, I don't intend to keep him long, but it's all up to Jacques. I'm sure we'll do fine."

"Never doubted that," she said quickly and Gibbs sent her a glare.

"Shall we ?" Vladimir asked and pointed upstairs.

Gibbs nod. He let go of Jenny's hand and lost the contact they had. Both of their bodies protested, but they hid the disappointment.

Jenny was left there standing in the middle of the dancefloor looking longingly at Gibbs, who soon disappeared from her view, so she collected herself and went to the bathroom. She fixed her make-up even though she wasn't wearing almost any except the red lipstick and some mascara. She took more time than usually, because she just needed to calm herself and waste the time until Jethro was back.

After the bathroom break, Jenny went back to the snacks table and took 2 slices of apple. She was also offered a shot of vodka, which she accepted. She was slowly getting familiar to the burning taste of vodka, but she prayed that she'd never get used to it. Bourbon was her taste, that's what she'll have if she is having alcohol at all.

It didn't take long before a random man came to ask Jenny for a dance. The man was tall, he had short black hair and charming smile. She might have even liked him a little more than it would have been appropriate, but she already had her man. It didn't stop her from accepting and going for a dance with the stranger. He was professional and kept his hands where they should be.

***NCIS***

Vladimir and Jethro entered the officecc upstairs. Vladimir poured them vodka and took a seat, Jethro followed his lead.

"Jaques, my friend, we have a serious problem," Vladimir said seriously.

"I figured," Gibbs replied. It was fast, but not too fast, because he was still unsure how much they knew about him and Jenny.

"Gerard betrayed my trust. Comes out he is a Yankee spy. He is FBI or something like that. I cannot trust anybody and I have a mission to complete tonight," Vladimir said and emptied his glass of vodka.

"It's a dangerous game. You don't know who to trust and who not to. But still you have to get the job done," Gibbs said neutrally.

"I wanna know if I can trust you, Jacques?" Vladimir asked seriously.

The silence was killing. Jethro was pretty sure that even people downstairs were quiet for this moment. He wanted to say that he was loyal, but then again he was not Jacques. He was hesitating, but a quick thought of Jenny and Catherine assured him, that he has to be the one get in deep and finish this up.

"Yes. You can trust me," Gibbs said and looked at his companion at the other side of the table.

"Okay. Tonight you will prove it. You will get into my car, the address is on the passenger seat, you go there and finish the job. I don't wanna see the dirtbag anymore. He has a flashdrive with some information I need," Vladimir said easily.

"You want me to go now?" Gibbs asked simply processing the info in his head.

"Yes, you'll go now," Vladimir said and poured himself another glass of vodka.

"Can I go and say hi to Jeanne? We had a huge fight this morning and I wanna ruin anything," Gibbs said quickly.

"Of course. But no words of the mission. After the mission I'm sure she'll make you lucky," Vladimir joked.

"Let's hope so," Gibbs smiled.

They shared a nod and then Gibbs left the office with car keys he took from the table. He had to prove himself and he had to keep Jenny out of this. Even though Vladimir had told not to tell Jenny he was still doubting, because he didn't want to make her worry, but he couldn't keep a secret. She had always been honest about work.

Gibbs walked down and approached the room he had left her. She wasn't there anymore, but honestly he didn't know what he was expecting. He looked around and located Jenny dancing with a guy and looked like she was enjoying herself.

It didn't took her long to notice him and she excused herself. She greeted him with a quick kiss on the lips. He wrapped his arm around her to keep her close.

"How was it?" She asked worriedly.

"It was okay. He wants to show me something so I'll be gone for a a few hours. Stay here and call a cab, when you feel like sleeping. Or you can wait, I'll come back here," he said softly.

She kissed him on the lips for a response. This kiss was longer than the previous one and held much more passion.

"That was for good luck," she said smiled.

He pulled her close and kissed her one more time before leaving. She watched him leave with his head held high. It was almost like he was walking out of her life, but that was not happening. She still had a feeling like he was keeping something to himself, but she'll know about it when they're home.

***NCIS***

Gibbs started the familiar car and looked at the passenger seat. There was a paper with address and name on it. There was also a picture of his target. Luckily he knew the street and so he knew which direction to drive. He flipped on the radio and Russian music began to play. He was going to assassinate a person and all he could think about was his future with Jenny. He had to finish this mission and do it fast so he could go home to his family.

Gibbs stopped when he reached the right house. He glanced one last time at the name and picture of his target – Yuri Vasina. Whatever he had done, he 'd better be worth the bullet he wastes.

He stepped into the street and locked the car. The gun on the small of his back felt so heavy as he entered the hallway of the house. He climbed to the third floor taking two steps at the time until he reached the right door. Number 5 was on the door and he took a moment to breathe. Maybe this guy had a wife and kids. He could destroy a family and force a child to grow up without father. He could be the villain in this story.

Quickly he pushed the thoughts away and took the handgun from his back. He took the silencer from his pocket and attached it to his gun. It was clean gun with no previous criminal history or any history at that matter.

He knocked.

***NCIS***

Those seconds felt like hours as he was sitting in the car. He had done it. Yuri Vasina was no longer among the living. He never thought about it before, but he might have just killed somebody's father or lover. If anyone would dare to touch Jenny, he'd kill them and if anything would happen to her or their daughter – he'd find the corpse and kill them again. But then again the weapons and drugs this guy sells are also the blame for murders.

He didn't feel like going back to Jenny just yet. Gibbs didn't want to tell her, because that would mean putting her to danger, but the same not telling her would make her angry and could jeopardize the mission. He has the urge to protect Jenny from everything bad and dangerous, even though she does the same thing for living. He'd have to pray the god that his only living daughter won't choose this path of life. He never understood people, who put their children in danger and encourage them to become agents – FBI, CIA, NCIS, Mossad, KBG or any other agency. It doesn't matter where, it matters that their life is endangered.

***NCIS***

It was hours later, when Gibbs parked in front of Vladimir's palace again. He got out of the car and entered the house like he lived there. Most of the guests had left, only a group of drunk Russian criminals were there. Gibbs looked just long enough to see than neither Jenny nor Vladimir were there, so he went straight to the stairway and then to the second floor. On his way he unbuttoned his coat and cleaned it from the snow, then he knocked on the study door. After hearing an answer he entered the room again.

Vladimir was sitting behind his desk and writing something. Gibbs walked in and shut the door quietly after him. He took off his black coat, that was still covered with melting snow, making it wet. Then he sat down on the familiar chair on the other side of the table and waited until he was spoken to.

"I assume I don't have to worry about mister Vasina anymore," Vladimir said simply. Tiredness was palpable in his voice, but still he didn't look up.

"No. He's gone," Gibbs said without making his sentence pretty. He was still talking to one of the most wanted criminal in Eastern Europe.

"Good. You're tired, go home and take your lady with you, take my car, now it's yours. I'll call tomorrow," Vladimir said simply and looked at Gibbs for the first time during the short conversation.

"Jeanne's still here ?" Gibbs asked. It was past 5 am, she should be at home, knowing the can't sleep the whole day like in Paris, because now they had a child.

"She's passed out on the chair next to the staircase. She looks peaceful, so I didn't want to wake her," Vladimir said simply.

"Thanks. I'll take her;" Gibbs said with a hard feeling – he was going to lie to her and she waited for him. He was a lucky man, but his luck might end very soon.

"Das vidanija moi druzja," Vladimir said in a perfect Russian.

"See ya," Gibbs replied in English. He took his coat and left his target alone.

He walked slowly down the stairs thinking of the right thing to do, but he wasn't going to do it today. It can wait, beside there is a fact than Jenny will be gone very soon and he doesn't have to worry about her getting hurt or Cathering being put in the middle of this. She has to go home.

Just as Vladimir had said, Jenny was sleeping on an armchair by the stairs, but the chairs were hidden from the front door, so he didn't notice her. Gibbs walked to her and shook lightly her shoulder. She just mumbled something, but didn't wake up. He shook a little stronger, but all he got as a response was mumble and slight movement in protest to his actions. He brought himself to his level and kissed her temple while stroking her long red curls. She mumbled out his name and that's it. He knew Jenny was a hard sleeper and alarm clock was not for her. So Gibbs found it's easier to just take her home. He wrapped his one hand around her legs, the other under her shoulders and lifted her up. He took a detour to take her coat then out of the door.

He walked to the car he had previously used and placed Jenny carefully on the passenger seat. She briefly opened her eyes, but closed them again. Gibbs drove quietly, but when he finally reached home he noticed Jenny awake.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," he greeted.

"You could have woken me up," she said groggily.

"I tried, you didn't wake," he said and smiled.

She sent him the best glare she could, and got out of the car just as he did.

"It's not our car," she stated, when they walked to the front door.

"No, I borrowed it," he said easily. He wondered if that was even the truth.

They arrived home to see Decker sleeping on the couch and the door to Catherine's room open. Jenny peeked inside to see her baby girl asleep. She closed the door, so that a crack separated two rooms.

Gibbs was with Decker, who was now awake. Jenny came to them, but she yawned her way there and so Gibbs sent her off to sleep. She was fast asleep.

"I'm in. I killed Yuri Vasina," Gibbs said quietly.

"Does Vladimir suspect anything?" Decker asked.

"I think we're safe, but he is alert," Gibbs said.

"Okay. I'll talk to Morrow. You go to sleep. We'll figure this out tomorrow," Decker said and stood up.

"Deck, Jenny doesn't know yet. Vladimir didn't want her involved and I haven't told her yet, but I don't know if I should," Gibbs blurted out, what's in his mind.

"I think it's for the best. Talk to her, so she could go home and we'll finish this up on our own," Decker said simply.

Gibbs nod and Decker walked to the front door. They said their goodbyes and Decker left, leaving Gibbs alone with his thoughts. He went to the bedroom and took off his suit and then climbed to the bed next to Jenny. He wrapped his arm around her from the back and kissed her hair. If only she'd know that he was doing...


	13. Chapter 13

Jenny enjoyed herself quite a lot, when Gibbs was attacking her neck. Catherine was asleep and they had time just for each other. Jenny was biting her tongue not to make any sounds, even though she wanted to let him know how good it felt.

Their lips met crashing and he pushed her backwards until she was between the bedroom door and his firm chest. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his middle.

"I want you. And I want you now," he whispered in her ear.

Her response was to give him one more open mouthed kiss. Their tongues fought for dominance while his hands found their way under her shirt, running up and down on her bare back. Jenny's one hand was around his neck and the other struggled with the door and she finally managed to get it open.

Gibbs let her down as they walked into the bedroom, but they didn't lose the closeness. He pulled her shirt over her head and threw it away, only to be joined by his shirt which Jenny had removed. He removed the bra and his next mission was to get her pants out of the way as his mouth found her breasts. She undid his belt and tried to focus on removing his jeans and not his mouth working miracles on her body.

Finally they managed to get rid of the clothes in the way and Gibbs slammed into her, getting a quieted moan out of her, while he muffled his moan in her hair. He gave her time, before he started thrusting and they started the constant battle for dominance as they rolled on the bed. At the beginning he got the power, but that was not for long. Then Jenny got him flat on his back, but only for a moment before Gibbs got back on top.

Too soon they were interrupted by a cry coming from the other room. From that moment only thing on her mind was to get to her baby girl. As she put her hands on his chest to push him off, he protested.

"Jen," he said in low voice, and she knew that he needed the release.

"I have to go, your daughter needs me," she said, obviously not worried about her release anymore.

"Jen," he said again and kissed her.

He kissed and thrust into her roughly a few times before he found his release, and a moment after he rolled off of her and let her go. She quickly pulled his t-shirt and jeans on, then left the room.

Gibbs watched her go, slumped on his back, tired. Who would have thought that having sex is so exhausting. He felt good after the release he had been waiting for days now – seems like all time he has with Jenny is interrupted by something, lately it is Catherine or sometimes Morrow. Last time, when they were trying to have sex, the director had called just like he knew what was going on. Gibbs wasn't sure if Morrow knew about the paternity of Catherine, maybe he just assumed since he was working undercover with Jenny at the time she got pregnant. Putting things together is not that hard.

Just as he was thinking of their director, Jenny's phone rang, but the caller ID was blocked, so it must be Morrow. He answered the phone in his usual gruff voice.

"Gibbs," he stated.

"Gibbs, I was hoping to talk to Shepard," Morrow said on the other side, clearly surprised to hear Gibbs and not Jenny talking.

"She's with Catherine," Gibbs said wondering what Morrow wanted.

"Tell her to call me back then," Morrow said, ready to end the call.

"Is it about the mission? I can tell her whatever it is," Gibbs asked, determined to find out the reason of this call.

"I'd rather talk to Jenny personally," Morrow replied not wanting to involve Gibbs.

"I'll let her know," Gibbs said and flipped the phone shut and ending the call in one quick motion.

He sat down and let his mind run wild. He never did like things that somebody wanted to talk to Jenny, but kept it from him. He didn't like the secrets between him and Jenny, specially he didn't like Jenny keeping things from him. Secrets didn't fit them.

Gibbs got up dressed and exited the bedroom to check on Jenny and Catherine. He leaned on the door frame and just enjoyed the view with no intention of interrupting. He saw Jenny rocking the little girl, who seemed to be sleepy and exhausted from the crying. Catherine noticed him first and started wiggling in her mother arms.

"Cath stop it," Jenny said in firm, but soft tone. Then she looked up and saw Jethro smiling.

"Director called," he blurted out.

"Yeah? What did Tom want?" Jenny asked and gave Catherine to Gibbs.

"You," he said and avoided eye contact with her.

"Well, I guess there's just one way to figure it out," she said and took a deep breath.

Gibbs nod in agreement, clearly bothered that she and Morrow were having some secret chats and Jenny calling him "Tom", it was always Morrow or the Director, but never Tom. IF the call wasn't triggering enough, this certainly was.

"I get to spend time with my girl and you get to chat with 'Tom'," Gibbs said, pointing out the last word.

"You're cute, when you're jealous," she said and walked past him, giving him a smile and kiss on the cheek.

Gibbs tried to be pissed, but he failed, mainly because he had something in his arms that he never thought he'd hold again – a daughter. He never wanted kids with Diane or Ginger or Stephanie and with Jenny he never thought about it and now he has Catherine. He listened and heard Jenny greeting the Director and then the door was closed, so Jenny had some privacy to talk. Otherwise he would be worried, but he had something to do, he could play with his daughter.

***NCIS***

Jenny made the call and Morrow answered almost immediately.

"Jenny, I think we have some things to discuss," Morrow said instantly.

"No foreplay, okay," Jenny said mostly to herself, but Morrow was able to hear it. He chucked at the comment, it was easy to see what Gibbs found in her.

"Can Jethro hear you?" Morrow asked seriously.

"Maybe a little," she replied honestly.

"Close the door or something, he can't know of this," Morrow said.

"Okay," Jenny replied slowly and slammed the door shut. She did it with a little more force than necessary, so Morrow could hear it too.

"We're alone now," Jenny said.

"I got intel, passed from the CIA personally, that La Grenouille is in contact with Vlad, so if we could get some other evidence about their partnership, we could get two flies," Morrow said.

"What kind of evidence? Is La Grenouille coming to Russia or what? Intelligence put him in Mexico few months ago," Jenny asked.

"He's in States. I think we have a possible shipment to one of the ports on the Baltic Sea, possible Finland, Estonia, Latvia or Russia itself. We need the location the guns are sent to, so we could take him down. Jethro has been doing a lot work with Vlad lately, so I believe he could get that information," Morrow said casually.

"I can talk to him, but why didn't you talk to himself?" Jenny asked.

"I wanted to talk to you about your situation. Since the mission has caught SecNav's attention, it's under radar. He wasn't too pleased with your relationship with Jethro and the family life you are living there, but he is accepting it. The problem is that Jethro has been murdering a lot for these people and Vlad doesn't too it himself to keep himself safe. There is talk that some gangsters are after him and that might be dangerous to you too. Jethro's position is good, but I am worried about others. You needed to get in, not start assassinating people and robbing them. Under any other circumstances I would reprimand him and pull him off the mission, but he is too close now and I think there is just one way to end this – he needs to take out Vlad and get the power in order to take down the whole mob," Morrow explained.

"Jethro has been going to the social meetings, I don't know about killing people. Where did you get your information?" Jenny asked, suddenly confused. It didn't sound like Jethro.

"He called himself. He didn't tell you?" Morrow asked, slightly surprised.

"Yes, he did. I must have forgotten it," Jenny lied fast.

"Right. You talk to him and I'll keep monitoring your mission," Morrow said, ready to end things.

"Tom, is there still a chance for me to get back to the States?" Jenny asked fast.

"Yes. You coming back home?" Morrow asked. Jenny told him a couple of weeks ago that she was staying for sure.

"Yeah. I'd like to come home. Catherine can't be in the middle of this fight anymore," Jenny said.

"I'll call back with details, but I think you have to be there for 3-5 days, then you can come home," Morrow said.

"Thank you," Jenny said, but her voice was cold. She hung up before saying goodbye or letting Morrow say anything else. Jethro lied to her. She couldn't stay with someone, who was keeping secrets, she had enough secrets on her own and now she gets to go home. One thing is sure, she needs to talk with Gibbs, and she needs to do this without Catherine, so she called her babysitter, special agent William Decker.

Jenny threw the phone on the bed and left the room. She found Jethro playing with Catherine and her heart melted. She couldn't take Catherine away, but she couldn't stay with him neither. Decker will arrive soon, then they could talk.

"Jethro," she said casually and brought his attention to her.

He smiled and got up, leaving Catherine play alone, but she didn't even notice her company leaving.

"So how was your chat with Tom?" Gibbs asked.

"Interesting. Will is coming to watch Cath. We need to talk. We need to talk alone," she said firmly.

Gibbs panicked for a moment – he knew that Jenny knew about his real actions.

"You know," he said simply.

"Yes. I can't believe you never told me," she hissed.

"I didn't know how to tell you. Beside is there really difference if I kill people or drink with them? Bullets kill faster than vodka," he snapped.

"Well, there is a difference if it means that you become a target and with that you put our child in danger," she said raising her voice.

"I am not a target. Beside I know how to protect my family," he said louder that she did before.

"Yeah. Your last daughter was killed. Real good protection," she said sarcastically.

"Don't you bring Kelly into this," he shouted.

"Don't let Cath be in the middle of your mission," she fired back.

Before Gibbs could say anything, Decker walked in. Apparently Catherine had started crying in the middle of their fight, but neither of them noticed.

"I get her. You go on," Decker said and walked to Catherine. He shut the door, because the way things looked – voices were getting loud and not in a good way. He was right.

"Is it so hard for you to treat me as equal and tell me things about the mission?" Jenny hissed.

"You know it now," he snapped.

"I didn't hear it from you. And it's been weeks. I bet Decker knows too. We can ask him, can't we? Which means you trust people over me, even though I'm the one, who gave birth to your daughter and I just happen to have higher clearance than you, which makes me look bad. It makes me feel bad. It makes me feel like I can't trust you, because you sure as hell don't give a damn about me," she said loudly.

"If I had told you before then you would have gone ballistic on me just like you are now," he said fast.

"I wouldn't have liked it, but I would've been supportive, because this is what partners do. We support each other and we trust each other. Obviously I am not your partner anymore, I don't know, maybe Will is your new partner. Maybe he'll give you a second child," she said sarcastically.

"Don't go there. You know I love you," he hissed.

"Of course, like this is supposed to make me feel better and leap into your arms and fuck you senseless?" Jenny mockingly asked and snorted at her statement.

"What has gotten into you, Jen?" he asked in attempt to calm things down.

Jenny was silent and stared at him and he replied to unique stare. They could hear Catherine crying in the other room and Decker trying to calm her down.

Jenny stopped the stare and rushed past him to the hallway. He put on her sneakers instead of regular boots and left the apartment without even remembering to take jacket – they were in Russian winter after all. Gibbs stormed after her after grabbing his coat.

He saw her walking fast down the street and he ran after her, while struggling with his coat. He reached her and grabbed her wrist in order to stop her.

"Walk away, that's what you're good at. Maybe you wanna take Catherine too, so it would be like Paris all over again," he said angrily at her.

"I will. I'm going back to states. I can't stand to be around you," She replied.

"So it is Paris all over again. Is it gonna take me another 2 years to get to see Catherine again. And then for a few months?" he said in anger.

"I wouldn't do that," she snapped.

"History proves the opposite," he said attacking her with his words.

"I hate you," she stated and freed herself from his grip. She kept on walking, but he was right behind you.

"You can run, but you can't hide," he said after her.

"Go home Jethro, I wanna be alone," she said and took a turn left. It was a small street, but the street was covered with a thick layer of snow. Jenny kept on walking with Gibbs following her and them changing some short, but aggressive statements against each other. They reached the dead end.

"I didn't tell you, because I wanted to protect you. I wanted to keep you and Catherine from all the bad. I didn't want you think every night that you're going to bed with a murderer. I wanted to keep you safe and if that meant keeping some things from you, then yes, took the chance," he said, but his voice was calm now.

"I don't need your protection. You can quit being chauvinist now. I am a big girl," she said.

"I know. But I'll always be chauvinist and you know that," he said and smirked. Then he noticed that she was shivering due to wearing just a t-shirt and jeans. He walked over and put his jacked on her shoulders before she could even protest.

"You're not protecting Cath by keeping secrets. You'd be protecting her, when you did something that would make her safe. I am keeping her safe by flying her back to the states," she stated.

"Jen, I'm sorry. I love you," he said.

"I don't hate you," she blurted out.

He kissed her and she kissed him back. Their tongues fought the battle of dominance they both knew so well, but never knew how it ended.

Her hands were around his neck, playing with the hair in the back of his head, making a mess of his silver hair. His hands were on her back, running up and down under his coat, while he pulled her slim figure close to her. They had the force and anger, that lead the way.

He pushed her backwards until her back crashed hard with the wall. Sure that would let some bruises, but that was not in her mind at the moment. Their lips parted and he moved on to her neck, releasing muffled moans. His hands caressed her breast, while her hands moved to his sides, slipping under his shirt.

She could feel him through his jeans and she knew he was ready. By the sounds she was making, he knew, that she was ready to. He abandoned her breasts and went to her jeans and she did the same. She struggled her jeans and panties off with a help from him.

He lifted her up and entered her on one quick movement. Their lips met again to muffle the sound they wanted to make so bad.

Both of them were shivering from the cold and the touches they were giving each other, but it didn't matter. Russian winter was not in their mind as they gave in the passion.

Afterward he let her down, when he came down from his high. She held tight onto him. Her head was on his chest, listening to the strong beats his heart was making. Strong and getting steadier by the minute. He started shivering with her, because they realized that it's winter in Russia and it's cold outside.

"Let's go back. It's cold outside," he said and kissed her head.

She simply nod and moved away from him. Her body protested by shivers, because she left his warmth. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her back close to him.

"Are we good?" he asked, slightly afraid of pushing the matter, but they had to talk about it.

"I don't know. I'm still leaving," she said after a moment of silence.

"I know. And I will come back to you the minute this is over," he said.

She said nothing, just kept on staring ahead. The biggest question is, where she'll be when this is over. Maybe Morrow will give her a team in DC, maybe he'll fly her out the moment Cathering is old enough. Maybe he'll do this when she gets back to the states. Nobody knows.

"We'll see," she said finally.

Gibbs nod and looked at her for a moment.

"I love you, you know that. You knew that in Paris and you know it now. I will always love you," he said in full seriousness.

"Just like you'll always love Shannon and Catherine will always remind you of Kelly," she harshly replied.

He managed to make her doubt the seriousness of his feelings and she couldn't help but think if she's just another rebound and he can't leave, because they have a daughter together. She will always come second and maybe she doesn't want to be a second choice. Him keeping secrets was not something she would let go this easily. Yes, she loved him, he might be the first man she really loved, but maybe he didn't love her as much as she did. And maybe they are not meant to last...

"Catherine will never come second to Kelly. They are equally important to me, but I will always love Shannon. That doesn't mean that I love you any less," he replied slowly, afraid of her response, but she deserved the truth. He couldn't lie to her, not again.

"I don't want you to let her go, but you need to find out who you are and what you want. You need to figure out if you want your past or you want us, so you can decide if you want to come home to me," she said seriously.

Somehow it felt like they took a few steps back in their relationship. They were back at the beginning. It came back to him and letting go of his past. The question is which direction it will take.

"I will come back to you. That much I know. I have past, but so have you. We all come with baggage. I love you and that is true. I will keep saying it until you believe me. You are the only woman I need in my life. I don't need memories, when I have you and our amazing little girl. I will love you both and I will keep you safe. That's all I know," he reassured her, or tried to.

"We'll talk when this is over," she said simply.

The rest of the way to the apartment went in silence. Soon they arrived at the door and walked in. He let her go first, maybe because it's polite, but mostly to watch her move in front of him. He loved watching her figure and knowing she's his.

She opened the door to their home in this cold and frozen metropolis of Moscow. She silently walked in, but making enough noise for Decker to know. She kicked her shoes off and put Jetho's jacket next to her long red coat. Jethro followed her actions with taking off his shoes and then they went to the living room, where Decker was sitting and playing with his cell phone.

"Good to see that you two are not shouting anymore," Decker said.

Gibbs grunted at the comment.

"How's Catherine?" Jenny asked.

"Went down easily once you two had taken the argument outside. By the way you two know it's cold outside, so you decided not to put clothes on," Decker commented and added some sarcasm to his voice.

"You can use that knowledge at show yourself out," Gibbs said harshly.

"I'm gone," Decker said and stood up.

"Thank you Will," Jenny said softly.

"No problem. I'm on love with that love child of yours," Decker said with genuine smile.

"She is fond of you too, but you don't have to be nanny here anymore. Morrow is pulling me away," Jenny said.

"Good call, Jenny," Decker said understanding the choice, but feeling a little sad, because he liked babysitting Catherine. She's a sweet little girl.

Jenny smiled and gave friendly hug to Decker. That was the moment when Gibbs discovered how close these two had grown over the time, but the same they grew up together. Decker was immature agent, when he was assigned to Gibbs and now he is one of the best undercover agents in Europe. Jenny was almost as immature as he was, only her comments were sometimes more sexually orientated or Gibbs took them like that, because she's female. At the beginning Jenny was a girl, but now she's a woman and Decker has grown into man.

"I'll miss you," Decker whispered in her ear.

"Right back at ya," she replied and gave him a kiss on the cheek before pulling away.

Decker looked at Gibbs and gave him a nod. Gibbs gave one in return before Decker walked past them, got his coat and boots and he was out. Jethro walked to the door and locked it, while Jenny checked Catherine, who was indeed deep asleep. She smiled at sight of her daughter sleeping so peacefully, while her parents were walking on narrow path, but their relationship was mostly based on sexual activities and not talking about it. They never defined their relationship. And they were not doing it now.

"She looks amazing, Jen," he said as he came to stand behind her. He wrapped his arms around her middle and put his head on her shoulder. He softly kissed her neck.

She pushed him away and closed the door to Catherine's room. She faced him and closed her eyes. Jenny took a deep breath and opened her eyes to meet his blue orbits looking at her.

"I love you Jethro and I would do the whole thing again, but I need to learn to trust you. I can't have a relationship just because you knocked me up," she said seriously and walked to the bathroom.

He looked after her until the bathroom door clicked and he knew she didn't want company, so he changed into his boxers and t-shirt. For once he was sure that his clothes will stay on. Just as he finished, Jenny came to the bedroom and it was his turn to brush his teeth. He kept on looking at his reflection from the mirror and thinking about his choices and the future he wants. The question is, if his feelings for Jenny are strong enough not to push her away like he did with Diane and Ginger. Could he make this work again?

Gibbs walked back to the bedroom to find Jenny already under covers, curled on her side. He turned off the bedside lamp and got under the covers. He was suddenly not so sure if she wanted to cuddle, so he decided against it, even if he wanted to feel her warm body next to him.

She turned her face towards him and snuggled closer. He welcomed her and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her body close. He closed his eyes and let sleep claim him along with her.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: I'm sorry, I know it has been forever, but I was dealing with my exams, then I was on a field trip for most of the June and now finally things have settled down enough for me to get back to writing. Beside a guest left me a nice review saying to finish the story... I am finishing this story, but since for a moment I am recovering from a mayor writer's block, it's gonna take time to come up with a storyline from now on. Anyway, enjoy the story, if you are still with me :) .**

**L.**

They were at the airport. Gibbs was holding Catherine while Jenny pulled her suitcase after her. They walked in silence. Catherine was calm, since she had travelled a lot and airplanes didn't scare her just like airports full of strangers.

Gibbs reached for her hand and took it in his. He pulled her closer, so he could feel her body by her side, because she was leaving and for awhile he'll have to be on his own. A few months ago, before Moscow he would have been okay on his own, but now it seems impossible, because he got her back, but now she is leaving. This mission will be over soon, but still it's hard to be apart, specially when he has to let go of Catherine – the miracle he and Jenny created.

As they walked in airport hand in hand they looked like a happy family going on a trip, but it was not that simple, because they were far from normal family. They were agents, who fell in love in Paris, but then their paths went in different ways until few years later they had to work together in the Frozen City of Moscow. Here again their paths will separate, because she's going back to home and he stays here. Except this time it's their daughter the most important factor in their decisions.

„I'll call you every day," he said.

„You can't, it might blow your cover," she said simply.

„I care about you more," he said roughly.

„You might send the russians to my doorstep if you contact me. We'll see, when you get home," she said.

„Jen, you act like you don't care at all," he accused.

„I love you marine, but you have a job to do and I have a child to take care of," she reasoned.

„We have a child to take care of," he snapped.

She stayed silent. They reached the gate.

„Do you think she'll remember me?" he asked with fear in his voice.

„She will. You're her dad," she said simply and offered a smile.

„I hope so," he said and played with the locks of Catherine.

„Jethro, I have to go," she said quietly.

Gibbs sent her a glare and turned his full attention back to Catherine. He was not ready to let go of his little girl, he just found out that he has another daughter, who is alive and now she is taken away from him. This time it's not permanent, but it felt like that, specially, when he was not sure, where he and Jenny stood.

„Are we okay?" he asked and turned to Jenny instead of Catherine.

Jenny sent him a smile and looked at Catherine, who talked to herself in her own language.

„Seriously Jen. Tell me now, so I know what to expect, when I get back. I don't want it to come as a surprise when you're in bed with some other man," he said in low voice.

„I promise I won't sleep with another man, but I don't know where we stand. I don't know if I can trust you and compete with a ghost. I don't know if I can do it," she gave him an honest answer.

„Jen, I love you. You know that," he said quick.

„I know. I love you too. I am just not sure if that's enough," she said and turned her attention to Catherine.

Jenny held her arms out for Catherine, who happily turned to her mother and laughed. Jenny took her from Jethro, who seemed to be distant.

„I'll talk to Morrow about contacting you, but it would be the best, if we didn't for awhile," Jenny said to him and walked towards the gate.

He made a few fast movements and caught her arm. She turned, so they were face to face with each other. He put his arms around her hugged her as tightly as he could with Catherine between them. His arms were around her shoulders and he tried to lock this feeling in his mind, so he could remember holding his two favorite persons in his arms, His eyes were closed and he breathed in her scent. Her free arm was around his waist and her head pressed to his shoulder.

„I don't ever want to let you go. Promise you won't give up on us," he whispered.

„I promise," she replied softly.

He pulled away and faced her. He leaned in for her lips. She accepted the kiss invitingly granting him access to her mouth. It was the force of love that controlled the kiss they shared. Catherine quietly played with the edge of Gibbs's coat while her parents said their goodbye.

Jenny's flight was called out again and then she pulled away. It was also because she needed air. They separated, but neither took a step apart from each other.

"I have to go," she said to assure that she has to go.

"I know. Go," he said and took a deep breath.

They shared a look of sadness, before he said his goodbye to Cahterine, who replied with "bye daddy" without really understanding the meaning of goodbye, because people were constantly coming and going from her life, so it was nothing special to the toddler, but it was heartbreaking to Jethro. He kissed Jenny's and Catherine's forehead before Jenny walked away towards her plane that will take her home, but away from Jethro.

***NCIS***

Jenny walked with suitcase on her left hand while she held Catherine on her hip with her right hand and tickets on her hand safely against her little girl. Catherine gripped her shirt under the gray coat which she was wearing with the buttons undone. She glanced back to see Jethro, but he was already out of sight.

Catherine was still in her happy mumble and didn't pay much attention to Jethro's leaving, but she was still too little to understand everything. For that Jenny was grateful, because leaving a parent is always hard for kids, specially when they are younger.

Jenny got her suitcase checked and then went to sit down with Catherine and wait for their plane to be called. She was deep in her thoughts about Jethro and their family together, if you'd call having a baby, but living in different places a family, plus the tension between them.

She was woken from her thoughts, when someone approached her. It was Petrov – another agent working in Russia undercover.

"Shepard," he said and sat down beside her.

"Petrov," she said.

"Will Gibbs be okay and ready to finish this operation?" he asked getting to the point.

"Gibbs is a good agent, he'll be fine," she said simply.

"I know about your relationship and little girl. I'm asking is Gibbs okay with you gone," he crlarified.

"He'll be fine, eager to finish this mission," she said coolly.

"That's good. Have a safe ride home," Petrov said and left her.

"Sweetie, we will have a safe ride home, right? We will get home and daddy will come after," Jenny said to Catherine and took a deep breath.

***NCIS***

Jenny arrived home hours later with already asleep Catherine in her arms. She flicked on the lights and left her suitcase in the hallway, quietly she removed her heels and placed Catherine safely on the couch and went to the kitchen to get some water. She drank slowly and thought about calling Jethro, but then she remembered, that she couldn't. He was in deep undercover mission and she was at home for the first time since 1999., when she first went undercover with Gibbs and then came Israel and Cairo... and then came Moscow, but now it's home, it's DC.

The moment she saw the armchair in the living room she felt the urge to fall asleep, but she didn't, because her daughter was there sleeping and you don't let your baby sleep on a couch where she could easily fall off. That's when she remembered that she has no crib or any baby furniture here, everything is in Moscow or Tel Aviv...

She sighed.

This is not as easy as she expected. Today Catherine could sleep in her bed, tomorrow she'll figure out how to get the crib and other furniture from Moscow and to get a babysitter. Probably some shopping wouldn't hurt since she will need more clothes and toys for Catherine anyway. Hopefully now they are done travelling and Catherine could go to school right here just like Jenny did herself years ago.

She looked at her sleeping daughter and smile came across her face. She has had doubts about having a baby since the stick gave positive result, but after giving birth those doubts were washed away.. She was a mother – something that never was included in her five-point-plan, but then again falling in love wasn't either.

Jenny carefully picked up Catherine and waited for a moment to see if she wakes up, which she didn't and then carried her upstairs to the master bedroom and placed her on the bed. She put pillows around her daughter to protect her from rolling over and falling to the floor, then picked out Jethro's t-shirt and pajama pants for sleeping and went to the bathroom.

Shower did good to her, she felt much more relaxed than before and of course she felt clean again after a long plane ride from Moscow to DC. Jenny looked at herself from the mirror and noticed how terrible she really looked. She was beyond exhausted, but traveling with a toddler does that.

Jenny changed and brushed her teeth. Her wet hair fell to Jethro's shirt and made soaked it, but she didn't care. She'd deal with her messy hair in the morning, right now she only wanted to fall to the bed and never get up again.

So she did. She flicked off the bathroom light and went on the other side of her bed and fell on it. She pulled blankets up to her chest, watched Catherine's chest rise and fall peacefully for awhile before sleep claimed her.


	15. Chapter 15

There was a child crying loudly. She was near and she was crying like there was no tomorrow. Her voice was loud and heartbreaking with occasional sobs breaking the loud noise. That's how Jennifer Shepard woke up. She waited for a moment for it to stop or Jethro to respond, because she felt like she had been ran over by a truck, but the crying didn't stop and Jethro didn't go to get her either. It took her a moment to remember, that Jethro was in Russia and she was on the other side of the Atlantic, so she had to go.

Standing up was a wrong choice as she discovered, because her world was running counter clockside and her head was as heavy as it could be. It took her a moment to make the world stand still and she rushed to her crying daughter.

„Honey, mommy's here, shh," She talked to Catherine as she picked her up and started rocking.

She kept on talking in a soft voice to her ear as she walked down the stairs with still crying Catherine.

„Baby girl, don't cry. I know you miss daddy, but he is coming to us, when his mission is over. Oh, sweetie, we are going to be just fine. For now. For now it has to be okay," she said soflty as she walked to the kitchen and placed Catherine in her chair.

The furniture had came a few days ago from Moscow, so finally she could make this place feel like home to her child and wherever Catherine was, was already home to Jenny. Catherine and Jethro were her home, but in the absence of Jethro, Catherine had to be it. After all they had been together for almost 2 years now, while she and Jethro have been together much less time. In Paris they never put labels on their relationship since at the beginning it was mostly sexual, but over the time feelings started to develop, all the way through Paris, Prague, Serbia, Positano, London, Marseille... and everything between it. Those brief months together were enough to light a everlasting flame in their souls and create a new life.

Jenny fixed Catherine's food and made coffee for herself. She watched as Catherine ate and finally calmed down. She let out a sign of relief and took a yoghurt for herself, so she sat down opposite to Catherine and started eating.

***NCIS***

The morning was colder than before. It was freezing outside, when Gibbs entered the streets of Moscow again. He pulled his coat closer to himself and automatically looked at his side, ready to pull a warm body closer to him only to find, that he was walking alone. Jenny was back at States and he was all alone in the cold streets of the former Soviet Union capital.

His phone rang and he looked at the ID noticing it was Vlad. He picked it up and spoke in Russian.

"Hello," he said quickly.

"Jaques my friend. I have something new for you, can you come to my place?" Vlad asked happily.

"On my way," was Jethro's gruff answer.

"Fantastic. I have a surprise for you," Vlad replied with enthusiasm in his voice.

"Can't wait," Jethro said less enthusiasticaly.

"I'll see you then," Vlad said.

"See you," Gibbs said and hang up.

This week in Moscow without Jenny were torture. He never wanted to be without her, but she was much safer on the other side of Atlantic and he knew that, beside that would mean, that their little girl was safe. This time he was sure to make everything to make sure that his girls were safe and sound. He was sure to watch his girl grow into heartbreaking teenager and Jenny – his next wife? - grow old with him.

Soon he arrived at Vlad's, he was nearby, when he was called. Wondering, what he would have to do now, took over his thoughts. He knew that the sooner he could wrap things up, the sooner he was back at Jenny's arms watching Catherine play and putting her to sleep every night.

He walked through the front door without knocking, put his jacket in the hallway and went upstairs to Vlad's office. He knocked twice and after hearing Vlad call him in, he opened the door and closed it quietly after him. Vlad was not there alone – a woman sat across him.

"Jaques, I want you to meet Jekatarina," Vlad said and woman named Jekatarina stood up and turned to Gibbs.

"Call me Katja," she said soflty.

"Jaques," Gibbs said and shook her hand.

Katja was as typical Russian woman as one could picture – she had ginger hair, face was covered with make up, her lips were colored in bright pink, her eyes were greenish, but her eyelids were blue, her nails were painted in red and she was covered with jewels, mostly golden. She was wearing a black dress with golden spots on it, which made her look like a huge cheetah.

"Vlad, you failed to mention, how pretty he is," Katja said and winked at Jethro.

"It's my surprise to you, darling," Vlad responded.

"So, what was that you wanted to talk to me about," Gibbs asked and looked past at the woman eating him with her eyes.

"Right. You seem so sad since your lady dumped you. I have Jekatarina to make you happy again. You are attending a party across town. Your target name is Ivan Nikolajev, he runs a small drug and liquer business and he's in my way. You'll know what to do. Jekatarina will get you in and you'll do the rest," Vlad explained while Katja wrapped her arms around Jethro's elbow.

Jethro told Vlad that Jenny had dumped him and moved to Ivangorod by the Russian border with a certain plan to escape the border to Estonia or Finland, while Jenny flew under her burn alias back home. It was the easiest thing to say, but he never thought that Vlad would get him another woman, he was not prepared, for this.

"Come on honey, I'll make you forget about that silly woman, who'd leave something as precious as you," Katja said.

"She's not silly, I love her," Jethro screamed inside his head, but instead of saying anything, he just smiled and let Katja led him out of the office, leaving smiling Vladimir behind.

***NCIS***

Jenny had a few hours for herself, while Catherine slept. Noemi was here, so she could take a break. In this week Catherine had met Noemi and she seems to like the housekeeper. Noemi was happy to look after _Seniora'_s daughter. Jenny trusted Noemi to take care of Catherine, since she had taken care of Jenny too after her mother left, so Jenny trusted her and was happy that Catherine chose to like the older woman.

She chose to spend those few precious hours at NCIS meeting with the director. She had to settle the problem now her job was. Catherine could stay at home with Noemi and she could work, but not long hours and all weekends – she needed time to spend with her daughter. Of course Catherine could stay at the NCIS daycare, but that meant that she had contact with federal agency and Jenny didn't like the idea of her daughter being part of her job. It was bad enough that her job and personal life were the same. Jethro will be transfered back to DC soon and then they would have to establish a working relationship. She had to talk about that too with Morrow. They will keep it out the office, but she'd have to check if Morrow was okay with the fact that they have a relationship... will get married someday?... It's too early to think about that.

So after a drive Jenny found herself in front of director's office. She sat on a couch waiting current meeting to end and then she could talk about her situation. She noticed Stan downstairs along with new agents, because Callen and Decker were both abroad and that used to be her team along with Gibbs. She made a mental note to check with Ducky later, because she felt like she needed to talk with the man she always considered as a father.

The office opened and a bald man about walked out with Morrow. He noticed Jenny, said his goodbye and invited her in.

"Good to see you, Shepard. How have you been?" he said and offered her a seat across his table.

"I'm good, sir. Trying to settle in here and offer Catherine some stability," Jenny replied as Morrow sat on his leather chair.

"I'm glad that everything is good.. I'm positive that you know that this isn't a social call," Morrow said seriously.

"Figured so, sir," Jenny said stoically.

"Just minutes after your plane landed, I got a call for SecNav requestiong or more demanding a meeting with me about you. I was taken back by the demand. I had to accept of course and it took him about 20 minutes to come barging in and taking a seat, where you are sitting now," Morrow said and looked at Jenny intensly.

She swallowed hard and looked back at her director not wanting to know the rest.

"I had gone over your record in my mind, I checked your profile and noting suspicious comes up. Well, I thought for a moment if it's about your father, but then I figured it's not new, so meeting about that could wait. Then I thought about Catherine, but then I thought that he was briefed about that and wasn't too mad, so I figured that's not it too. It's generally not like him to get involved in agents' personal lives. So I was sitting here waiting for him to come and the angry look on his face scared even me and I have seen terrible things," Morrow talked making Jenny nervous.

"Are you firing me?" Jenny asked bluntly. She could take it.

"Don't rush things," Morrow said and offered a small smile. That didn't relax Jenny.

"Well, SecNav sat down and asked, what I was going to do with you. I said that I was thinking about giving you some leave time and look for possible positions to give you, probably own team here in DC, but I wasn't sure yet. That's when SecNav stood and shouted. To save some of my dignity I keep that part for me and the rest of agency that heard that," Morrow said.

Jenny looked unreadable to him.

"Then he said that CIA is trying to persuade you to switch agency, but as comes out your work in Paris was very impressive to him, specially gaining the black box of Russian arms ring. With that no one in charge had any doubts about you. Since CIA is running deep undercover operations with arms dealers all the time it even sounds logic for you to switch," Morrow praised his agent.

_At what price I got the information _Jenny thought to herself as Morrow kept on talking, but she was flashing back to that room, filled with smoke and Anatoly. It smelled like vodka...

"...as you completed your mission in Paris, he first approached me and ordered me to send you to Cairo and work as liason between Mossad and NCIS, but then he ordered me to send you to Moscow again after your first very succesful mission," Morrow said and took a break to sip his water.

Jenny fought the images of Svetlana's blonde hair, blue eyes and pink lipstick. She remembered the scared look in her eyes as Jenny pointed her gun at her. She could never forget the look they shared the moment she fired her gun.

"... SecNav wanted me to tell you personally how proud he is. He was a little hesitant about you working with Gibbs, he was scared that Gibbs might scare you off, but the result was quite the opposite. He is sure that Ducky helped a lot, we both knew that Svetlana must have been your first kill and that was one of the reasons doctor Mallard was with you.." Morrow continued talking.

Jenny took a sudden intake of breath, but that went unnoticed. Her first kill. Blood all over her hands and clothes. The violent struggle and the gunshot that followed. The bang in silence. It felt so surreal at the time, but as the time passed her actions haunted here more. All she could see in her sleep was blood on her hands, every time she closed her eyes she saw the face and every time there was a loud noise she heard a gunshot. Her gunshot. She never took it easy, but Ducky helped, but Gibbs brought her back.

"...CIA would offer you same kind of missions all the time, while NCIS has other priorities at this moment. We are looking away from Europe at this very moment and our main focus is Middle East and that's where your contact with Ziva David is valuable..."

Ziva was a bright young girl. She knew about Jenny's operation in Paris. She knew about her kill. Ziva knew that her first kill was Sergei Londakov, not Svetlana Chernitskaya.

"... anyway, my point is that SecNav is really proud of you, Decker and Gibbs, because taking down Anatoly Zukov, Svetlana Chernitskaya and Ivan Nezdoly is a huge accomplishment of making this world a safer place.."

It was. It is a huge accomplishment, still there is one but... Svetlana is not dead. Jenny couldn't bring herself to kill that woman. A shot was heard, but it flew through the mirror behind Svetlana, leaving 2 woman standing there in shock. And then Jenny confirmed her kill and ran. She failed.

"... and my point is that SecNav wants me to do anything to keep you, so I'm offering you a position right here in DC. You'll be the cordinator between this office and Middle East department. Your mission is to keep making this place safe. Your experience is enough to succeed. And in order to keep my position and keep SecNav happy, I truly hope that you accept. In few years you can get promotions and if you keep impressing SecNav like you have so far – you'll be sitting in my chair in no time," Morrow ended.

Jenny snapped from the memories of Paris. Svetlana's blue eyes still in her mind and looked at her director. She should confess her actions right now, she lost her words.

"I really hope that your silence is not a sign of rejection, because if it is, maybe we can find some other position for you," Morrow said casually.

"Director. I think there is something you should know, before I can accept anything. Before you can even offer me anything," Jenny said firmly.

Morrow gave her a nod and offered some compassion with his calm and peaceful look.

Jenny sighed.


	16. Chapter 16

Jethro was dancing away with Katja at this glamorous Russian party. He noticed his target instantly, because the man was clearly looking for attention with his outgoing personality. He was the guy, who talked briefly with everybody, poured vodka, danced with pretty ladies and made comments about this party very loudly. He was outstanding person in this party and clearly looking for attention. Gibbs saw him approaching, so he moved towards the buffee table and there he met Ivan Nikolajev.

„Hello, Jaques, is it?" Ivan greeted Jethro.

„That's me. Nice party you have here," Gibbs said and Ivan flashed a smile with his perfectly white teeth.

„Thank you. It's a pleasure to have you here," Ivan said happily.

„Likewise," Gibbs grunted.

„Well, my comrade, I'm a business man and so are you. What do you say we have a little meeting and see if we can be useful to each other," Ivan proposed.

_It's too easy. Something can't be right. I'm not supposed to get in so easily_.. Gibbs thought.

„I'm glad. I have to say goodbye to my lovely lady, but then I'm all for business," Gibbs said quickly, trying to put this off for awhile. _And what business I'm all for._.. he added in his head.

„Of course. I'll be in my office on the second floor. You'll find it," Ivan said and poured himself some vodka, poured Gibbs some more and disappeared.

Gibbs grunted under his breath and moved back to Katja, who was chatting with few ladies, probably friends or just some random ladies asking make-up tips or hairdresser's number or God knows what.

Katja saw him coming towards her, so she excused herself and met him in a hug. He whispered his plan to his ear. It was simple. They would leave so people notice them, but they depart in the hallway – Katja leaves and gets into their car while Gibbs executes Ivan Nikolajev. He gets out unnoticed, gets into the car and they're gone before anyone notices anything.

Katja said bye to the other ladies and wrapped her arms around Gibbs as they walked away. On the doorway under something like misstletoe they shared a kiss, which was domitated by Katja entirely, because voices in Gibbs' head shouted him to stop and get away, but he didn't.

People sent them looks, so their leaving was noticed. They took their coats and Katja walked out of the door while Gibbs walked upstairs. He left his coat on the stairs – easy to grab on his way out., only thing he took was pair o gloves and put them on – just to be sure.

He pushed open the door to the office and there Ivan was – sitting behind his table with papers in front of him. He sent a smile to Gibbs and pointed to the chair across him. Gibbs sat down, well aware of the handgun with silencer in the back of his back. The metal felt the coldest right in this moment, while before he was barely aware of it located against his skin.

„I have ran across one of my rivals – Vladimir. I am well aware that you get along with the smug bastard. Gerard has informed me, that you are a valuable asset," he said. Ivan didn't notice the look on Gibbs' face at the mention of Callan's alias.

Gibbs looked at the man with curiosity.

„There are so few man I can trust at this moment. Gerard assumed me that you were thrustworthy, though he mentioned a hot redhead on your side. Didn't see her here.." he trailed off.

„She left," he was gruff.

„I'm so sorry, comrade. I wanted to give you a warning about Vladimir, he's an arrogant bastard and I feel sorry for everyone on his way. He is switching sides as he likes. He is former KGB, so he has ties to very powerful people, who still want back the Soviet Union. Unfortunately world has moved on, but the Western world still sees us as enemy. Vladimir is one of the people, who makes sure that this point of view remains and soon next Lenin comes with great revolution to eliminate the growing democracy in Russia. They want to bring the empire back and occupy our neighbours again – Finland, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Belarus, Poland and other countries nearby... I am a man with no such plans. I want Russia to be part of Western world and I want business to be as it is in France for example. I want your help to take down Vladimir and make Russia a better and safer place to live in. Gerard said I can count on you," Ivan said seriously.

At this moment Gibbs wished Callan had sent him some warning or some instructions. Maybe it's a trap set up by Vladimir some way... to see if he's up for the job. Drugs and guns are bad in every way and even if this guy wants different things, it doesn't make him a batter man...

„I don't know why Gerard put such trust on me, but I can assure you I am a man with no such power," Gibbs said fast.

„Modesty doesn't get you anywhere," Ivan said and smiled. „I know you stopped Russians in Paris and I know that you are close enough to Vladimir to make him disappear. I did my research my friend," he added.

„Then you should know that I'm not so good with covering my tracks," Gibbs said easily and cursed in his mind. Callan is a dead man.

„I have my sources. Like I said Gerard told me to trust you," Ivan said getting back to his point.

Gibbs studied the man and tried to make up a decision... Should he kill or should he not? Katja could be impatient kill should be quick, he has waisted time.

„Where is Gerard these days? Haven't seen him around," Gibbs asked.

„He is dead unfortunately. Vladimir's men got to him," Ivan said sadly.

Gibbs nod – Callan was probably in DC or even London's office. He was safely away.

„So, what to you say to my proposal?" Ivan asked and took a sip of his vodka from the table.

„What can you give me? You have idea of his next plans?" Gibbs asked casually, when he really was fishing.

„I know about a shipment coming in. Weapons from his France buddy La Grenouille. They are scheduled to arrive at Tallinn in 4 days. Then those containers are put on a train and so they travel to St. Peterburg. Vlad is planning on starting a new revolution in St. Peterburg like Lenin did almost 100 years ago. He is finishing in Russia soon, takes closest friends are on their way," Ivan said seriously, convinced that Gibbs was on his side.

„What's your plan?" Gibbs asked and looked interested.

„I'll have a man ready to kill him before he gets out of Moscow. He's going for the kill tomorrow just after Vladimir is done with his dinner, he's good," Ivan said.

„And what's my part in this?" Gibbs asked.

„You have to lure him out tomorrow, so my man can make the kill. He needs to be in front of the house," Ivan explained.

„Got it," Gibbs said.

His hand moved to his back, under the jacket. He touched the metal of his gun. And waited. He has to make this kill. Good or bad, this man could be as big threat as Vladimir.

„Need something to drink?" Ivan asked.

„Sure," Gibbs answered politely.

Ivan turned his back to Gibbs to take bottle from the counter behind him. It took seconds for Gibbs to get the gun out and fire the shot. He shot twice, just to make sure. Ivan fell to the floor before he realized the shot might be coming. The blood was all over the carpet and Gibbs knew he was dead. His gun was back at the small of his back, hidden safely from everyone.

Quietly he left the office with his gloves still on. The stairway was empty, so he almost run towards the door, stopped just to grab his coat. He saw no one on his way, so he knew he was safe.

The car with Jekatarina was waiting just like Gibbs expected and they drove off with confirmed kill behind them. If only Katja knew what Gibbs had learned and what was waiting for her boss.

She dropped him off by the apartment Gibbs lived in, now without Jenny. He made a quick call to Morrow and confirmed the kill as well as the info he gathered. The Director promised to give instructions in the morning.

***NCIS***

Jenny was surprised by her phone ringing in the kitchen. She quickly picked it up – it was late and Catherine was asleep.

„Shepard," she said quietly to the phone. 

„Is it bad time?" Morrow asked on the other side.

„No. Catherine is sleeping, so it's the best time actually," she said quickly.

„Good. Have you been in contact with Gibbs?" Tom asked getting to the point.

„No. Not since I came back here," she answered honestly.

„Suppose it better. Gibbs told me that the arms deal between Vladimir and La Grenouille is happening in 4 days," Morrow said.

„Can we get him?" Jenny asked hopefully.

„I hope so. I know you haven't given me answer, but this mission could be yours now. You have worked hard to get this man," Tom said.

„I will take this mission. I will take the job," Jenny said without second guessing.

„Can you come in and discuss things?" Morrow asked, suddenly distracted. Jenny could hear distant voices on the other side of the line.

„I'll have to get Noemi to watch Catherine. I think I can make it in an hour," Jenny said, calculating the time in her mind.

„I'll be waiting," Tom said and hang up.

Jenny sighed and put the phone down. It hit her just that moment, that she has to go back to the Frozen land, where Jethro was killing people. She'd have to leave Catherine, because no way in hell that she'd take her along.

Noemi arrived as fast as Jenny thought, so they passed on the doorway, where Jenny gave the older woman last instructions, even though Noemi has practice with kids, namely Jenny.

***NCIS***

Jenny was sitting in the director's office. Tom was stuck in MTAC as Charlene – the assistant – said. So Jenny sat in the office she wants one day. Her dream has been getting into this office and putting away the slimy bastard La Grenouille. She flashed back to the last time she had been here just a few days before.

_"Director. I think there is something you should know, before I can accept anything. Before you can even offer me anything," Jenny said firmly._

_Morrow gave her a nod and offered some compassion with his calm and peaceful look._

_Jenny sighed._

„_About the mission in Paris," she started, but couldn't go on, not just yet._

„_Jennifer, Paris was succesful. You have nothing to worry about," Morrow assured._

„_It wasn't," she admitted quietly. _

_Morrow sent her a quiestioning look._

„_Don't worry. SecNav is not happy about your relationship with Gibbs, but he's willing to turn a blind eye," Morrow said._

„_There is no relationship," She said defensivly._

„_I'm sorry... I assumed that Catherine was Gibbs', because the other man working this closely you was doctor Mallard.." Morrow said with confusion._

„_Catherine is Jethro's, but we're not in a relationship. Paris was a long time ago," she said fast._

„_It's not a problem as I said before. Is there anything else?" he asked._

„_I DIDN'T KILL SVETLANA!" Jenny's mind was screaming._

„_It's about Svetlana," Jenny managed out._

_„It was simply wonderful, they way you handled it. The body drifting ashore miles from Paris and only DNA confirming the victim, the bullet wound was hidden, so it was ruled out as a suicide," Morrow said and light came to his eyes. He was proud of his young female agent sitting across him._

„_Keep up the good work and you'll be sitting in my chair one day," he added with a smile._

„_Thank you sir," Jenny said, surprise about the news hidden. He doesn't have to know the truth – Svetlana is dead, so everything is okay and her second fail can stay as a secret. _

Morrow entered the office and startled Jenny, she looked up to her Director and stood up, but Morrow waved it off. He took seat opposite to her in his leather chair.

„I'm sorry I kept you waiting, but I was talking with the London office. They are pleased to know that you are in, since Johnson and Burrows have failed to get close to the Russian mob," Morrow said to Jenny, clearly pleased with her choice.

„I will do it," Jenny said simply.

„I will hold your promotion until you come back," Morrow decided.

Jenny nod, understanding.

„You'll fly out to London tomorrow, they will brief you, but I assume you already know everything you need, except about the shipment. I have contacted Tallinn and they are providing their full cooperation. After the arms have landed you will be travelling with them," Morrow explained.

„Tallinn?" Jenny asked, Tallinn was not Russia.

„Yes. It's easier to use former Soviet country as transit. The border between those two is the most unstable, since most of the border area is like mini-Russia on the other side of the border. I hope your Russian is good enough to not draw attention," Morrow said, looking at Jenny, who simply nod. Her Russian was not excellent, but it was good enough.

„What about my situation?" Jenny asked, hinting to Catherine.

„Yes, I thought about it too. I know you have maid, so she could watch her – if you are comfortable with it or Catherine could stay with me. Michelle is very good with kids. Our boy is about her age, so she could have a playmate. Of course NCIS has good daycare office, where she could stay. If you want her to stay with your parents or someone else you trust, that's fine," Morrow proposed.

„Sir, my mother lives across county and Noemi has been planning to go see his son, so I think I'm out of my nannies," Jenny chuckled.

„Then it would be no problem for us to take your girl. I guarantee you that Michelle is great mom and she could watch her until you return," Morrow said.

„I appreciate the offer," Jenny said dryly.

„Your plane leaves at 6am tomoorrow," Morrow said and gave her the ticket.

„Sir, how long do you think it will take?" Jenny asked hesitantly.

„Endgame should take place after the shipment is delivered, so I'd say about a week," Morrow said easily.

Jenny nod and thought this thing through in her mind. She's going back to the Frozen land after just getting back. But the most important thing is that she might be getting La Grenouille and this time without putting Catherine in danger.

„If you have any questions you can call me any time," Morrow said at her thoughtful expression.

Jenny gave him a smile and nod.

There was a knock on the door and Pacci walked in. He noticed Jenny first.

„Jenny, nice to see you," he greeted.

„Likewise, Chris," she replied with a smile and then Pacci turned to the man on the other side of the table.

„Director, we have a situation," he said.

Morrow gave a nod and dismissed him.

„Good luck Jenny," he said before leaving the office with Jenny.

Jenny went straight to the elevator to head home. She has to leave Catherine alone for a week. She had never done that before, but hopefully it will be worth it.

She's going back to the Frozen land.


	17. Chapter 17

**I apologize for once again abandoning this story, but school has been hectic since September... I'm finally getting to the point, where I am ending this story and hopefully I'll find a plot that I'm satisfied with.. So I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**And also happy new year :) . **

**L.**

***NCIS***

Her plane landed in Tallinn Airport at night. The airport was much smaller than London's Gatwick airport was, but then again Tallinn is much smaller city too. She could see, that it has been renovated, because some painting jobs were still to be done and everything else looked fresh. Jenny was surprised, when the luggage claim was near and she didn't have to walk miles to get there. The airport was empty compared to other airports she usually visited.

She found her way out of the airport and to her great surprise a buss was waiting in the station. She figured it was easier to get to the heart of Estonian capital and then start looking for the port. From what she knew, the port was basically in the center of the city.

The buss was blue with white stripes and it looked old. It felt very old as it started driving. The brown leather seats were mostly broken, all the walls and seats were covered with writings mostly in Russian or what she assumed to be Estonian.

Her ride took her to the center of the city and she found the hotel, she was supposed to stay quickly. The city seemed to be asleep, but then again it was nighttime already. She checked in and went to her room. It was a small room with a double bed and small bathroom. It was cold, so Jenny decided against going to shower. She slipped off her coat and got out her sleeping attire, but then changed her mind again and changed into hoodie and sweatpants.

As she sat on the bed under the covers, with mission files in front of her, she decided to call Morrows and check up on her baby. She calculated the time difference and decided against it – it was early Sunday morning in DC. She'll call later that night.

Maybe she should contact Gibbs, but then again she could compromise his cover. Sure he would be pissed, but she had a job to do. Beside she has no idea where they she stands with him. They will have to figure it out on the way.

Jenny looked at the files over again and again. She had every detail memorised, so there was no way she'd miss it. She had to go to the port and follow the weapons from there to the railway station. There she'd have to get on the train with the carriage. Then there would be about 10 hours of ride with a stop at the border. That means she has about 10 hours to log everything and collect all the information she could to tie this back to La Grenouille. It's the game plan. If this goes well Jenny could be on short list to succeed Morrows, when the day comes. It was the dream, but it was all before Jethro and Catherine.

***NCIS***

„Gibbs, you're going to St. Petersburg," Morrow said.

Groggy Gibbs processed the statement for a moment and then stood up. He left the bedroom and closed the door quietly. His head was throbbing – way too much vodka last night.

„It's about the arms shipment," Gibbs stated.

„Yes. We hopefully got an agent on board, so the take down is near. Hopefully we get everything to tie Vladimir's cell to La Grenouille, so we can take two of them down," Morrow talked about the plan.

„Who's the agent?" Gibbs asked.

„Not important," Morrow said, knowing Gibbs would not think about the mission, when he knew that Jenny was in risk.

„How I'm going to tell Vlad about the move. He hasn't briefed me yet," Gibbs said.

„You are going to take time off. You can tell that this city reminds you of Shepard and you need a change. Improvise. If you're going he'll include you, if Decker's intel is correct," Morrow said tiredly.

„How's Shepard?" he asked out of the blue. A wawe of guilt coming over him as he spoke of Jenny.

„She's good. I offered her position in DC and seems like she'll stay here. You should be proud of your agent. If she keeps going like this, she'll soon be sitting in my chair. She is a diamond and very worthy one. SecNav has been briefed about your situation and he's willing to turn a blind eye, even though he's not that happy. I'm sure Jenny will tell you everything once you're both back home," Morrow said happily – he on the other hand was happy about the relationship Gibbs and Jenny held. It sure was good for both of them – they were both happier than he had seen in a long time.

„Good. Can't wait to get back home," Gibbs said honestly.

„We have decided to end this mission, when we have tied arms to La Grenouille. The takedown will happen in St. Petersburg. Decker is on his way there, so he'll be your backup," Morrow explained.

„I'll let them know about my plans," Gibbs said and quickly finished the call. He heard movement coming from the other room and that's when he noticed that he was not in his apartment and he was not alone. Last night was pretty much wiped from his mind.

He slipped back into the bedroom to see Katja waiting for him in bed. Naked. That's what started the flashbacks...

_Vodka.. Dancing, more vodka. Kissing... Kissing, dancing and more vodka. Her lips on his neck, her pink lips under his. Her blue dress coming off along with his suit... Vodka... Vodka... Kissing... His hands on her body... Her hands running on his back... Her body against him... Him on top of her..The two of them wrapped up in bed... Her name on his lips... She screaming his name... Him coming undone... The kiss afterwards..._

He shook his head in disbelief. Never, not once, had he thought that he'd cheat on his loved one. This time he was not cheating on Shannon, but also Jenny.

He closed his eyes.

„Cowboy, are you coming back to bed?" Katja asked and ran her hand over her breasts to her thighs.

„I can't. I gotta go talk to Vladimir," Gibbs said and started picking up his clothes.

„He left. He's having lunch, will be back in 2 hours," Katja said knowingly.

Figured.. He was at Vladimir's.

„We have time, Cowboy," she said and clicked her tongue.

Gibbs focused on the woman in front of her and for some reason he felt the urge to feel her underneath him again, so he walked to her. He kissed her and washed away every thoughts of Jenny on his mind – for all he knew, she could be doing the same thing right now.

***NCIS***

Jenny felt cold and uncomfortable in the dark waggon. She slipped on as the men didn't pay attention and later forgot to check the carriage for extra passengers. Jenny had managed to document all the weapons with serial numbers and took some photos, but they probably were no help, since it was dark and her flashlight didn't light enough.

She spent her time thinking about Jethro. She knew she loved him, but there was so much about him, that she'd never touch. He was a mystery and she wanted more. She deserved more – after all she had his child. They created a life and still there was something about him, that she couldn't touch. He told her about his first wife, but there was something else. He trusted him with her life, but she couldn't trust him in Catherine's life. She trusted his judgement, but she didn't trust him with her heart._. _

Jennifer Shepard couldn't trust Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

As hard as it was, it was the truth. Reality.

***NCIS***

Gibbs was awake in bed. A woman was wrapped around him, but it was not _the _woman. Katja sounded asleep, while he was wide awake thinking of his family. There was no turning back now – he wanted Jenny to wait for him, while he was sleeping with another woman. He could say it was to protect his cover, but he knew it's a lie. He didn't know why, but he knew he wasn't sleeping with Katja to maintain his cover nor get information.

His phone rang and he picked it up instantly.

„Hello, my friend," Vladimir greeted him

„Good morning," Gibbs replied.

„Could you come to see me, we have things to discuss?" Vladimir asked.

„I'll be there in a few," Gibbs said and ended the call.

He got up and dressed, while Katja kept on sleeping. Jethro quietly left the bedroom and walked up the stairs to see his „boss".

Vladimir was waiting for him in his study. He was looking through some papers and barely looked up, when Gibbs entered the office. The undercover agent took a seat on his regular spot across the table. He waited for Vladimir to start the conversation.

„Jaques, I'm afraid I have some bad news," Vladimir said slowly. He rose his look and his brown eyes were gazing intensily in the icy blue ones.

„I'm listening," Gibbs said simple, still afraid of what might come.

„Our plans have been compromised. The delivery package is still at the border and if the Estonian border guards look through it, it won't get here. If that happens, my good friend Rene won't be my good friend anymore, we will become enemies instant and his fury is unimaginable. You know he killed US colonel Jasper Shepard, because he refused to take bribe or maybe he took it, it is still pretty messy situation, but the funny thing is that it was ruled out as a suicide, that's how good he is... Maybe you know him?" Vladimir talked.

Gibbs' mind was filled with thoughts, after hearing the name Jasper Shepard. He knew nothing about Jenny's family, but the same she knew nothing about his either. Could it have been Jenny's uncle or perhaps even a father?

„Jaques?" Vladimir asked as he saw Gibbs fall into thoughts.

„Sorry?" he quickly said, pulled out of his thoughts.

„Do you know him, Rene?" he asked again.

Gibbs looked at him for a moment and then shook his head. It was the truth – he didn't know Rene Benouit, but he had heard of him. And quite often the name La Grenouille left Jenny's lips as she was dreaming, but then again she mumbled a lot of things, half of which he didn't understand. He knew about Jenny's focus on arms dealers, but maybe it was something about this one. What if Jasper Shepard was Jenny's father? Mental note to check it.

„It's such a pity. He's a good man, wise man. I'll make sure to introduce you two, when the time comes. But my main reason for calling you out here, is to make you an offer," Vladimir said.

„I'm listening," Gibbs said quickly and seriously.

„Have you been to St. Petersburg?" Vladimir asked.

„No, but I was planning on going there with Jeanne.." Gibbs said and made sure there was sadness in his voice. But the truth is that he really wanted to visit the old city with Jenny one day.

„Pack your bags then, we'll leave after dinner. I'm sorry you can't take Jeanne there, but that girl fooled with you. Maybe you can persuade Katja to come with you," Vladimir said and smirked at Gibbs, who didn't like the idea of bringing another woman there.

„I'll go home, pack and I'll be back. But I don't think bringing Katja there with us is a good idea, don't want to put her in danger, you know what happened last time," Gibbs said, coming up with an excuse to get away from the woman.

„Your decision my friend," Vladimir said and indicated that the conversation was over.

Gibbs left the office and the house. He went home, well the home he had here in the heart of Russia, but it stopped being his home the moment Jenny moved out.

***NCIS***

The train went past the border smoothly and Jenny was now really illegally in Russia. She was expecting a few more hours of ride and then had to figure out a way to get out of this waggon. So far she didn't have any idea how plus it was cold back here and uncomfortable, but if it's all that takes to put away La Grenouille and honour her father, then she was happy to do it. Except her plan was never to put away the bastard, she was aiming for the kill, but then again, that was all before Paris. She missed the warmth Paris offered, when she was stuck in Russia with coldness. Her relationship with Jethro was much warmer back there. Life was better in Paris.

The other problem she encountered was boredom. It was hours and hours of dull ride. She had finished her job, it was too cold to fall asleep and there was no light... She tried to memorize the periodic table, remind her old classmates and college mates, think of things to do in home... but the bottom line is that she was bored. Now it became the biggest problem as she saw it.

***NCIS***

It was late night, when Gibbs and Vladimir arrived at the abandoned railway station just before the St. Petersburg. There was already a man waiting at the station. He was sitting on the bench and drinking some amber liquid, when he noticed Gibbs and Vladimir approaching.

„Hello my friend," Vladimir greeted the arms dealer.

„Vladimir, it's always a pleasure," Benouit said and hugged his friend.

„This is Jaques, he's trustworthy," Vladimir introduced Gibbs.

„Call me Rene," Rene said and shook Gibbs' hand.

Gibbs never thought that man who is responsible for many deaths, could be so nice.

Rene and Vladimir were chatting away as Gibbs looked around. In a way it was bautiful. Snow and frost in a place that seemed to be forgotten by the rest of the world. Quiet and nice. A quiet sound of a train approaching was heard.

Vladimir took out the pack of sigaretts and offered one to Gibbs, who for once accepted it. He didn't smoke, but occasionally he found it relaxing, even though he hated the taste of it.

The train got closer and all men were waiting for it to stop.

Finally it was here. It wasn't a train with many waggons, but still too many to carry only weapons. Gibbs looked it very closely wondering where the other agent was and who it was. Probably Pacci, but who knows.

Vladimir greeted the men, who got off, but Gibbs payed a little attention to them. He approached the last waggon and noticed that the door had been opened. He kept that fact to himself until Rene and Vladimir where there by his side with 2 men from the train.

„Why is the door opened?" Vladimir shouted at his men.

There was no answer except some mumbles about it being closed at the border.

„Vladimir, does it mean danger? Did your men act carelessly?" Rene asked his friend.

„I assure you we are safe. We are in Russia. Here maffia is as important as Putin, and I don't see him here," Vladimir said calmly, but his look was full of anger.

„Let's move, in case there was a trouble," Rene said, still not believing Vladimir.

The Russian nod and they unloaded the carriage to the car they arrived with.

Gibbs looked around at the platform for any sight of intruders, but found none. Vladimir and Rene joined him, when another car pulled up. All men looked at the car arriving with Gibbs reaching for his gun, but he relaxed, when he saw Katja getting out of the car.

„Did you really think, you could leave me so easily?" She asked Gibbs.

Gibbs just made a gruff noise before Katja came over and kissed him. She pulled away and opened her mouth to say something, but she was stopped.

A single gunshot was heard.

And then came another.

Everybody just looked at each other for a moment, before they realized, who got hit.


	18. Chapter 18

**Once again I promised not to abandon this story and yet again I did it. For months I was way too busy with exams and writing my Bsc thesis, but now it's done and hopefully I'll finish this pretty soon - now that I got time. I hope you don't hate me after this chapter, but then again at least I saw this coming...**

**Reviews are appreciated :) .**

**L.**

*****NCIS*****

She was running. Her feet met the frozen ground and her footprints were left on fresh snow. Her fingers were gripping her gun as she passed trees and bushes, until finally she head cars driving – the road must be near.

Jenny froze.

She stopped on her tracks and sat under the nearest pine tree. She pulled her knees to her chest, put her hands on her knees and kept on staring at the gun in her hands. What had she done? Compromising the mission because of personal feelings... She could blow the operation. Correction – she just blew it.

Wasn't it a point in her plan not to get personally involved? Didn't Jethro have a rule about it? Why couldn't Jenny ever learn? In Paris it cost her plan, here it will probably cost the mission... And she's positive all of it will cost her Jethro... Well, maybe it already had…

She released her fingers around the gun in a quick motion, like it burnt her. The sudden motion made gun fall loosely by her feet and new amount of snow fell from the tree.

Jenny sat there in silence, covered with now melting snow and staring at the ground in front of her. The wind blew, causing more snow to fall on her coat and hair.

***NCIS***

The sun had gone down, the cars were not driving so frequently anymore, but Jenny was still sitting under the tree. Her mind was analyzing those few seconds she fired her gun. Those few seconds that will change her life. She kept on going back to Paris, when she couldn't shoot Svetlana, but now she could kill without hesitation. Kids were supposed to make people softer not tougher. What about their kids? What about kids, who won't be able to see their daddy again? Or mommy? All because of her. She took 2 lives some hours ago.

Her hand fell to her pocket and she pulled out the pack of cigarettes she usually carries around for situations like this. Not even Jethro knew about her secret habit. Jenny kept on watching how smoke disappeared in the cold winter's night. Smoking was one of her secrets, but usually she smoked to forget some other secrets. She did it sometimes to feel… anything.

If she could feel anything at this moment she'd feel cold. She'd feel the melting snow on her face, pain in her body from the coldness, numbness in her hands and regret deep in her soul for all the choices she has made. Well, in the end it all comes down to choices people make and sometimes choices are made for them.

She stood up, causing the blood to flow through her body in fast motion. She picked up her gun lying abandoned on the ground and tucked it to her lower back. The cold metal came in contact with her warm skin, causing Jenny to shiver once more. She started walking again. Slowly dragging her feet she reached to road, which was much closer than she anticipated. She walked along the road for awhile, until she reached a parking lot, where a car was waiting for her. She knew it would be here, it's her getaway.

She sat in car for a few moments before driving off. There was a bag in the passenger seat and Jenny knew it consisted of some money and change of clothes – Decker had taken care of it, since her belongings were all in a hotel in Tallinn.

Jenny drove away, when snow had stopped falling, but streets reminded her of a giant ice-skating rink, so she drove rather slowly, but safely. Russians really need to invest in roads and organizing their traffic. She was already in Sankt Petersburg, when she remembered to call Decker. She found a phone in the bag and dialed all familiar number.

Decker picked up on 3rd ring.

"Yeah, Decker," he answered.

"It's Jenny," she replied.

"Good, I was starting to worry. You were supposed to call in a few hours ago," Decker said with relief coming over him.

"Sorry, I forgot," Jenny apologized.

"So, can I tell Tom about another successful mission?" Decker asked.

"Yeah. Consider this me calling my hit," Jenny said.

"Great. But I have to tell that I already know. Gibbs called before," Decker said.

"What did he tell?" Jenny asked worriedly.

"He said that you're still as good as I remember," Decker chuckled. "Though he also might mean some other qualities of yours I know nothing about," he added.

Jenny grunted under her breath. Gibbs will die.

"Anyway, Gibbs called, he is meeting you in front of Hotel Moskva, it's at the eastern end of Nevsky Pospekt. Enjoy the sights, I'll call tomorrow about you travelling plans," Decker said.

"Wouldn't it be safer to get different rooms in different hotels?" Jenny asked.

"Could be, but our budget doesn't allow that at the moment," Decker said.

He swore, he could hear Jenny silently wearing at the other end.

"Jen, you did good. Go spend a night with your bastard and we'll talk tomorrow," Decker said and hang up.

"Thank you very much, Will," Jenny said after he hang up and threw phone on the passenger seat.

***NCIS***

Gibbs was waiting in hotel lobby, when Jenny arrived. He looked tired, but also relief washed over him, when he noticed Jenny.

He was by her side in a moment and pulled her in for a hug, which Jenny didn't return, but also she didn't pull away.

"I got us a room. We're staying at 204," Gibbs said and held out a key.

Jenny nod and moved away from him. He followed her, his hand on her lower back as always. She picked up her speed, so she could avoid physical contact with him, but her attempts were unsuccessful and hotel hallway was not a place she'd want to fight.

He opened the door for her and she went to the bathroom instantly, locked the door and undressed, so she could take a much needed shower. She felt dirty and hopefully a shower will help. Gibbs was stunned, but decided not to bother her, they'll have a serious conversation rather soon than later. Instead he decided to turn on the TV and focused on listening to news.

Jenny let the warm water soak her long red curls and unfroze her body in general. She didn't realize how cold she was until she felt warmth from the water. It felt so good. She washed her hair and scrubbed her body twice, but she still felt dirty. As she got out and wrapped a towel around herself, she realized, that she had left her bag with change of clothes in the car. There was no way she'd spend the rest of the night wrapped in towel around him. Considering her options, she had just one chance…

"Jethro," She said softly behind locked door.

"Yeah?" came his instant reply.

"There's a bag on the passenger seat of my car. Could you please get it?" She asked nicely.

"Sure. Where did you park?" Gibbs asked.

Jenny described car's location as precisely as she could and after hearing the hotel room door open and close she knew, that Gibbs will get it.

She unlocked the bathroom door and sat down on a bed, wrapped in a fluffy towel and now it was her time to watch the news. Her Russian had improved, because this time she understood perfectly.

Gibbs got back awhile later, empty handed.

"I didn't have the keys," he said.

"Oh, right," Jenny said and ran to the bathroom, got the keys from the pocket and threw those to Gibbs, who left for the second time.

This time Jenny decided to stay in the bathroom and kept on looking at the mirror. She barely recognized the woman staring back at her – she was not the woman, who left Russia just awhile back. The Jenny, she used to be couldn't have killed so easily. The Jenny she used to be…

Her thoughts were interrupted with a knock on the door.

"Your bag," Gibbs said and handed her the little black bag.

Jenny thanked and closed the door, so she could change. She changed into grey pants and emerald t-shirt Decker had packed. She gave herself a final look in the mirror and sat by the bed on the other side of Jethro.

He stood and came to sit by her side.

"You look beautiful," he said and leaned in to kiss her.

"Don't touch me," Jenny snapped.

Surprised, he pulled back and looked at her for an explanation. Realizing she was giving him none, he started the conversation.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern obvious in his voice.

"Yeah," she napped.

"You're not. What's wrong? I thought we were good," Gibbs said softly.

"We're not anymore," Jenny replied.

They spent a few moments in silence, before it was broken again.

"I saw you today on the platform with her," Jenny said, her tone was indifferent, if she was angry, she was hiding it well.

"I had to keep my cover," Gibbs said fast.

"You were ready to shoot Anatoly and refused to talk to me in 2 days just because he asked me to dance with him and I agreed," Jenny said, still calm.

"He was dangerous," Gibbs protected himself.

"I had a dance, to keep my cover. I saw you kissing her," Jenny went on.

Gibbs looked at the floor and kept quiet.

"Did you sleep with her?" Jenny asked.

Gibbs kept on staring at the floor.

"I asked did you sleep with her?" Jenny asked again, louder this time.

"Yes," Gibbs shouted back.

"How many times?" Jenny asked in disbelief.

Gibbs was quiet and that was the answer Jenny needed.

"I can't believe you. I went away… You wanted me away and you do this… That's why you sent me away, so you could get a Russian hooker," Jenny went on in her ramble with raised voice.

"Feels like I don't know who you are," Jenny said finally.

"Don't play innocent. For all I knew, you could've been doing the same," Gibbs protected himself.

He understood he had made a mistake the moment his words came out. That sentence was rewarded with Jenny's palm colliding with his cheek, forcing his head to turn and his hand flew to his now red cheek.

"Bastard," Jenny grunted.

Gibbs looked at the fiery redhead, whose face was now red, almost matching the color of her hair, her emerald eyes were full of fire and he couldn't decide if she was more angry or hurt, or then equally both. He chose to go with the last one.

She stood up and walked to the door, then changed her mind and turned around, but didn't move. She crossed her arms on her chest and kept on looking at Jethro.

Gibbs took a few moments, before he stood up as defeated dog. He slowly came closer to Jenny, but she put her right hand in front of her on his chest to stop him from coming closer.

"Stop," she snapped.

"Jen, I'm sorry," he apologized sincerely.

"Sorry you did it or sorry because you got caught?" Jenny snapped back.

"I'm sorry for betraying you," Gibbs said.

Jenny looked at him for a moment as if deciding if he really meant it or not.

"Why Jethro? For Christ sake, why?" She bursted out.

"To keep my cover, I told you. Regardless of what you think, when a man is offered a woman, then saying no is suspicious, especially when he is recently dumped," Gibbs explained calmly.

"You didn't have to sleep with her," Jenny stated.

"No," Gibbs agreed.

"But you did it anyway," She said.

Gibbs just nod.

"I had no idea, where I stood with you. I had nothing at all and she was there. I'm not defending myself, because I don't think that's possible, but tell me you wouldn't have done the same," Gibbs said, getting angry – he might have done wrong, but she was not clean either.

"No. I made a promise to you," Jenny shouted.

"You took my child away. Without this mission I might not have known, that I had another daughter," Gibbs shouted back.

"You gave me no reason to stay. I said I loved you and you laughed at my face. You constantly pushed me away, when you opened up a little. You gave me no choice, but to leave, and trust me if I had known about the pregnancy before, I might have made a different choice," Jenny said in anger.

"If I had told you about my past or forced some words out, you would have stayed?" Gibbs asked.

"Guess we'll never know, will we," She said, calm once again.

Silence took over the room once more as once lovers and partners, now a relationship covered with cracks.

"You despise me, I can't even look at you, let alone thinking about letting you into Catherine's life. I hate you," She decided.

Gibbs looked at her, disbelief clear in his eyes.

"You can't take my daughter away," Gibbs said in anger.

"Watch me," Jenny said and walked away.

"You can sleep on the bathtub or floor or in the car or I'll sleep somewhere else, but tonight you won't sleep next to me," She said finalized the argument.

"I'll use the floor, but my crimes are no smaller than yours," Gibbs said and walked to the bed with her, grabbed one pillow and a blanket.

"I'm tired of cleaning out you mess," Gibbs said and turned his back to her.

_***Flashback***_

_Gibbs stood and looked around for a moment. He knew, he was not hit, but Vladimir fell to the ground, dead. Gibbs looked at Benouit, who was coughing out blood and slowly fell to the wall and then to the ground._

"_Damn Shepard," he choked out. _

_Gibbs felt liquid on his hands and Katja's body becoming heavy and numb. He looked at his hands on her back and realized it was blood on them. The movement caused Katja's body to fall from his hands. The bullet meant for Benoit nicked her, causing an innocent woman to die. _

_Benouit's words echoed in his head, as he put together a picture – He vaguely remembered Jenny mumbling Benoit's name in her sleep. Maybe Jasper Shepard was indeed Jenny's dead father and she blamed Benoit, which resulted in him being dead. The mission could be blown._

_Vladimir's men stood in shock and first to respond was Gibbs, who got a round on both of them, making sure they were dead. He checked everybody for pulse and after making sure they were all dead he walked back to the cars, took Vladimir's with weapons still inside and drove away. _

_He'd have a talk with this agent, who screwed up – Benoit was not meant to be killed, but arrested. Deep inside he knew, it was Jenny, who had some explaining to do, but then again maybe she had grown or there had been a change. He prayed that it's not Jenny, but he knew it was her. Call it a gut feeling._

_***Flashback***_

Jenny looked at his sleeping figure on the floor, running events from the railway station over in her mind and she knew that she screwed up. She knew, that Gibbs knew that. She also knew that she'll never apologize for messing up this time, but given the chance to do this again, she wouldn't hesitate to kill Benoit. Consider it her personal mission for joining NCIS accomplished.

On the other hand, she also knew that Catherine will probably grow up without Gibbs. Their differences are not fixable and his betrayal runs too deep for apology to fix it.

Jenny and Jethro are done.


	19. Chapter 19

It's been 2 months, since Jenny and Jethro returned from Moscow. Jenny and Gibbs had barely seen each other, let alone talk about things that happened in Moscow, Paris or somewhere in between. It's been 61 days of avoidance, but knowing them not talking leads to even greater fight as both sides have time to think through their statements and reasons, or they completely avoid the subject for eternity. Both are equally probable options, but avoidance leads to even greater crack between them as great fight could lead them to fixing their relationship. Now it's all about choices.

***NCIS***

Gibbs was back working with his team consisting senior agent William Decker, G. Callen and rookie agent Anthony Dinozzo, who transferred after NCIS and Baltimore PD joint mission, which lead Tony to discoveries, he never wanted to make. In the end it was clear that he couldn't work in Baltimore PD anymore and Gibbs offered him a job in NCIS. Though Gibbs would never admit it, but he liked Tony, the younger agent reminded Gibbs of himself ages ago.

Jenny returned to work as Assistant Director of Counter Terrorism, working in an office right next to the Director's. She was glad that she could get to her office without crossing the bullpen and so avoiding Gibbs. Her job was basically the same she did in Cairo some time ago, except this time she controlled everything from a distance, only time will tell how it will work out. The Director warned her, that her second office will be MTAC and she could be working weird hours because of the time distance between Cairo and DC.

So, it's finally her first day back. She had seen Jetho twice since coming back, when he came to see Catherine, who was enjoying her stay in yet another place in this world. She had travelled more than average person travels in whole life. Noemi was now doubled as housekeeper and babysitter, but Jenny's housekeeper grew to love Catherine fast and the little girl seemed to love the Latin American woman too.

Out of habit Jenny pressed the button for bullpen and came off a floor too early, which meant she had to be on the same floor as Gibbs. She walked confidently, her heels clicking on the floor and her eyes focused on the floor in front of her, so she avoided looking in Gibbs' direction.

She almost jumped from surprise, when someone grabbed her from behind. She relaxed the moment she felt familiar overpriced scent.

"I missed you," Callen whispered to her ear.

"Aww, that's so sweet," Jenny said as Callen released her.

Jenny turned around to face her friend and hugged him.

"Missed you too, G. Life's boring without you around," Jenny said, making Callen smile.

"I am simply irresistible, I know that," He said and pulled away.

His comment made Jenny smack playfully his shoulder.

"Take it easy, G. It's her first day back, don't scare her off again," Decker's voice was heard as the person himself came towards them.

Callen laughed at the comment.

"Scaring her off is Jehtro's job," He joked.

Decker sent a killer look to Callen, but Jenny stayed neutral, at least from the outside.

"So tell me, where's your little princess. Unbelievable, but I really miss her," Decker turned to Jenny.

"She's home with Noemi. Don't think she's suitable for NCIS," Jenny said.

Will, Callen and Jenny shared a laugh in their own element, so Gibbs could easily sneak up on them.

"Even she is more mature than my new rookie," he said, holding a cup of his signature coffee and face unreadable.

"Special agent Gibbs," Jenny acknowledged him.

"Assistant Director Shepard," Gibbs returned the polite gesture.

"How's work?" Jenny asked in attempt of making a small talk.

"Slow at this moment, at least gives time to train my new rookie and guys can finish their paperwork," Gibbs said.

"That's good. Guess some peace would be nice," Jenny agreed.

"Jen, we need to talk," Gibbs said quietly.

"I know. Come over tonight. I'll finish around 8 I think," Jenny said neutrally.

"I'll bring Chinese," Gibbs replied.

"Don't. Noemi will cook," Jenny said fast.

Gibbs nod.

"I'll let you get back to work," Jenny said a little louder so Decker and Callen also heard.

"Enjoy your stay here, God knows how long it will be," Decker teased.

Jenny made a face and walked away from them, through the catwalk to her new office. Her name hanged on the wall and Jenny took a moment to look at it. Something she could be proud of. If Jasper Shepard was here, he wouldn't approve it, but Jenny felt proud.

She opened the door and stepped in. It was much bigger than her office in Cairo. She even had her own couch and coffee table. She almost felt like director, almost. She sat down behind her new desk, opened her inbox and judging from the amount of unanswered e-mails World War III was about to start, so she got to answering them.

***NCIS***

Jenny was surprised, when she heard a knock on her door, but her surprise grew, when the Director came in. He closed the door after him and in silence sat across from Jenny.

"How are you doing?" Tom Morrow asked.

"I'm adjusting," Jenny answered honestly.

"It's good," Morrow said. He seemed distracted.

"Something wrong?" Jenny asked, concern taking over her.

"A lot of things, but there are things we can't fix. I'm sure you've heard about new field office in LA," Morrow got to his point.

"Yeah, Decker and Callan are transferring there," Jenny said knowingly.

"I've troubles finding someone experienced and good with politics to send there, temporally. I was wondering if you'd like the chance," Morrow asked.

"Define temporally," Jenny demanded.

"For the first couple of months until we find someone suitable for this job permanently, I'd offer that to you, but I got the feeling that you'd like to stay in DC," Morrow explained.

"Okay.." Jenny said out loud.

"The supervising agent is in charge of putting new undercover operations in motion, keep the budget under control and of course hiring new agents. I feel like someone experienced on the field and successful behind the desk could be useful. Since the nature of job is different from what MCRT regularly does I don't have a lot of options," Morrow expanded.

"When would that happen?" Jenny asked, gaining interest.

"I'll be sending Callan and Decker there, along with some rookies and agents from San Diego in 3 weeks," Tom said simply.

"That's soon," Jenny stated.

"We've been working on it for a long time and now it finally is ready to start. Of course we'll have to get surveillance experts and forensic specialists, probably people with good computer skills too, but that will be happening step by step, the budget is tight right now. If you grow to like it I can make the transfer permanet," Morrow explained slowly.

The older man seemed tired, Jenny could tell, and she hadn't seen Morrow so exhausted before, but then again she hadn't been in DC for long.

"So are you interested?" Morrow asked, getting his hopes up.

"Sounds like new challenge and you know I like them," Jenny said with a smirk, nodding in confirmation.

"Good. Come see me tomorrow at 0700, we'll talk over specifics then, but now I need to get home before my wife accuses me of cheating and I recommend that you go home too," Morrow said getting up.

Jenny let out a small laugh.

"I'll have to finish a few e-mails, then I'll go home," Jenny said softly.

"Good night, Jenny," Morrow said at the door.

"Good night, Tom," Jenny replied.

Jenny leaned back on her chair, leaving her computer keyboard abandoned as she collected her thoughts. She'll be transferring to LA, away from DC, away from Gibbs…

***NCIS***

Jenny ran to the door, when she heard doorbell. Catherine was down for the night and she was not about to have another fight with her daughter. She already knew it's Gibbs.

"Come in," Jenny said as she opened the door for silver haired man, who still has her heart.

Gibbs smiled and entered the house, closing the door after him. He held boxes of Chinese food in his hand.

They went to the living room, where Catherine's toys were lying around and Jenny even didn't try to hide them.

"So, where's our little girl?" Gibbs said, looking around.

"Just got her down," Jenny said apologetically.

Gibbs nod. He was disappointed, but knew better not to wake a sleeping baby. He gave Jenny a carton and opened his. They started eating.

"So how was your first day back?" Gibbs asked.

"Eventful," Jenny decided.

"Something interesting?" Gibbs asked out of curiosity.

"Yeah. I got a new job offer," Jenny said simply.

"Tom is retiring?" Gibbs joked.

"No. Director of LA office," Jenny expanded.

"You accepted?" Gibbs asked, already knowing the answer.

Jenny nod.

"But it's temporary," Jenny said.

"What about Catherine?" Gibbs asked, but both knew the real question was "What about us?"

"She'll come with me. You're welcomed to visit us," Jenny simply said, knowing it will be hard.

"So you're taking my daughter away again," Gibbs stated accusingly.

"You made the choice, when you chose your blonde," Jenny attacked.

Gibbs even didn't attempt to defend himself, because he knew Jenny wouldn't change her mind, but also because there was no good explanation that would make his betrayal less hurtful.

"So this is it?" Gibbs asked.

"Guess so," Jenny said quietly.

The silence took over in room. Unlike the usual silence between them, this time it was uncomfortable, holding the tension as well as questions and answers they were never going to say.

"Just because we are not together, that doesn't give you the right to take Catherine away," Gibbs said.

"I'm not taking her away permanently. You can visit her and I promise to make an effort so you can be involved," Jenny promised.

"I know. You wouldn't do that to me," Gibbs agreed – he knew Jenny.

"We can figure something out for Catherine's sake," Jenny stated.

"When are you leaving?" Gibbs asked, changing the topic.

"3 weeks," Jenny quickly said.

Gibbs nod. He felt like there was nothing more to say, everything seemed to be already said.

"Think I should go," Gibbs said finally.

Jenny didn't reply.

He put his half-eaten carton on the table and left without saying anything else. Jenny stayed there alone, feeling extreme guilt for taking Catherine away from him again, all because of Moscow.

***NCIS***

Airports seemed to be places, where the important events took place in their relationship. Jenny dragged her suitcase as she walked through towards her gate. Gibbs was beside her with Catherine on his hip. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with her before they go.

Gibbs made an effort to see Catherine every day for the past 3 weeks until the threaded day finally arrived.

They walked side by side, uncomfortable silence still in air until they got to the security control, where he had to leave them.

They stopped.

"Guess this is it," Jenny said.

"Yeah," Gibbs said with a sigh.

"Come over when you can and I'll come here as often as I can," Jenny said.

"I will," Gibbs promised.

"Catherine, say bye to daddy," Jenny said to her daughter.

"Daddy," Catherine mused.

"I love you baby girl," Gibbs said and pressed his lips to Catherine's forehead.

Nothing more needed to be said, his statement said everything.

"Give her to me," Jenny requested and held her arms open.

Gibbs kissed her head once more before handing sleepy Catherine to Jenny, who secured her on her hip and looked up at Gibbs.

He hugged her without a word, his head buried in her long red curls and one hand protectively on Catherine's back.

"Take care," he whispered to Jenny.

Her flight was called.

"I will," Jenny said back.

He kissed the top of her head, showing that much affection for the woman, who had his heart.

He released her and watched as she went and disappeared around the corner with Catherine. With heavy heart he turned around and slowly walked back through the airport. He wiped away the tear about to fall. Even though they promised to see each other and talk, he had a feeling that times will change and he'll lose another daughter and another woman.

Paris brought them together, in Marseille they discovered each other, in Positano she fell in love, in Prague he fell in love and Serbia was like honeymoon, until it came back to Paris, that divided them. Moscow brought them back together, but also broke the bond that warm France had created. Their love was frozen and it would take one hell of a summer to melt the ice.

**THE END**

***NCIS***

Special thanks to all, who have read and reviewed this story. I'm sorry for abandoning you so many times, but finally I'm done. I'm sure there are people, who are not satisfied with the ending, but this is what I had in mind. I have a sequel and probably an epilogue in mind, but since I am starting my graduate program this fall I have honestly no idea how much and if I have free time at all, so no hard promises.


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